A LOOK INTO MY OPEN WINDOW

How many years?

2011-03-05T07:12:00.000-05:00

So, as another sleepless night slipped by me, a crazy thought popped into my head. Maybe I should begin to put to good use some of this wasted time..perhaps I can begin to blog again.
It's been several years since I've given thought to posting another blog.. One reason is that I feel my writings are pretty dull compared to most and who in their right mind would want to sit and take the time to read about the daily occurrences of the boredom in my life.. and Secondly..that dreaded but important thing that most of us lack..time. Who has time to sit and write when there is a bathroom that needs to be scrubbed or a floor that's begging to be vacuumed?
But, here I am attempting to get back into the swing of writing..and..whether I post or not again?? We will just have to see. A lot has happened since 2008/2009 and hopefully the mood will strike me to begin to blog again.

J

Memorial Butterfly Release

2010-06-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

Registration has officially started for the Katie Elise Lambert Foundation's Memorial Butterfly Release and Safety Event on August 14th at Jeanes Hospital in Philadelphia. If you would like to take part in this special event by releasing a Monarch butterfly in memory of/or in honor of someone, please go to our website and complete the registration form by July 24th; butterflies are limited. In addition to the butterfly release, there will be entertainment/crafts for the kids, yummy food and other non-profit booths there who will be spotlighting their messages.
Please visit Katie Elise Lambert Foundation for Child Safety to learn more about us and our mission to protect children from furniture tip-over.
Thank you.

Memorial Butterfly Release 2010

2010-06-06T12:51:00.000-04:00

The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation's Memorial Butterfly Release is rapidly approaching on August 14th, 2010. It will be held along the walking trails of Jeanes Hospital in Northeast Philadelphia. For more information and if you would like to honor and remember a loved one by releasing a Monarch Butterfly, please check www.katieeliselambert.org

Here is a slideshow from last year's event.

Caught in the Act!

2010-06-04T23:07:00.000-04:00

So, Miss Deer. You seem to enjoy the taste of not only our lilies, but ALL of our newly planted flowers in our front garden. Now we know who's been leaving just the green stems recently. You've been caught eating my flowers...ears, paw sand fluffy, white tail. I hope you enjoyed EVERYTHING!

THE END

2010-05-29T05:38:00.006-04:00

Almost 2 years ago we found a new friend and what was to soon become an unexpected member of our family. Stuck in our skimmer was a leopard frog desperately trying to make an escape. Big B rescued it and we placed in in our smaller, non-chlorinated pool. It stayed throughout the day and after much begging by the kids I went off to Petsmart to learn what I could find about keeping this frog. The news was gloomy at best and I broke it gently to the boys that due to probable ingestion of chlorine the frog would probably die within 24 hours. This is what the nice people at the pet store told me. But I had to fight to try to keep it alive. So home I went with a new tank, gravel and various other paraphenalia that only a frog could love. you may find pictures here.http://alookintomyopenwindow.blogspot.com/2008/07/just-another-day.html. It's been almost 2 years since we added Murky to our family. The manager at Petsmart was incorrect in his assumption and the frog has remained healthy and seemed comfortable and happy. About a month or so ago though, Murks decided to stop eating. Those yummy crickets that he or she once hunted with gusto stayed in the tank, untouched by a frog's tongue. The past day or day his body has swollen and his skin has changed color. Although frog's can get swollen bellies from a certain bacteria that they are prone to, this is different.
The boys are aware that Murky is dying and it's very sad. As I sit here typing, his swollen body floats listlessly as his eyes open and close ever so slowly. I've been praying for this little frog and I've asked the kids to add him to their prayers,,,that he is not suffering. I've even shed a tear or two for the frog that has brought us so much fun. It's okay Murky. If there is a place in Heaven for frogs you will soon be there.
J

To blog or not to blog

2010-04-15T21:26:00.004-04:00

Jeez, it's been a long time since I have last posted. Did anyone miss me? I'm not sure how to start a posting that is way overdue without taking up too much space and unecessary details so I will give just the highlights...and maybe some lowlights too.

I think my last post was sometime in the early Fall...now that's pretty depressing. We've been through two seasons, countless holidays and many loads of laundry have been done since then.

Let's see, where to start. Well, we are all okay. Big B is still...Big... but actually growing smaller. He's lost some weight, by choice and he's looking very nice lately. Little B..well, is geting bigger. He's adjusting to 7th grade, getting good grades and has started playing baseball again. E is doing well, playing ball, involved in cub scouts and was just nominated for the National Young Scholar Association or something. Pretty cool. S is still S. She's in kindergarten and loving each moment of it..except when she ends up on "red." She's had some learning difficulties this year but I will save that for another post. She's taking swimming lessons and is learning to finally swim without a vest. I worry so much because of our pool and her arm and she really needs to know how to swim.

I'm doing okay,,still the same. I try my best to get through my days without being too bad of a mom. I still think of my Katie and what she would be doing right now, how she would look and what she would like and dislike. I miss her terribly. We still run the Foundation http://www.katieeliselambert.org/ which helps. We just did the Baby and Toddler Expo this past weekend and are preparing to exhibit at the Greater Philadelphia's Chapter of the Autism Society this Sunday at the Philadelphia Zoo.
I'm presently working as a substitute nurse in our local school district.
So, the question is, do I continue to blog or just stop altogether? I guess we all just need to stay tuned.
J

Wal-Mart

2009-08-31T14:47:00.004-04:00

I finally figured out today how Wal-Mart makes their money. So you find a great shirt..and it's only $5.00! So, instead of buying 1 shirt for S, I end up buying 3 shirts and a pair of shoes for her because the first shirt was only 5 bucks. I still end up spending and arm and a leg in the store. UGH!

Vacation

2009-08-30T22:21:00.004-04:00

We are presently enjoying an eagerly anticipated vacation at Long Beach Island, Nj. We arrived on the 22nd and will be here until the 5th. We have been keeping so busy that today I had a fleeting thought about going home to rest. : ) The weather has been great with just one day of intermittant storms and rain so far. But even that couldn't keep us home. We spent that day climbing Barnegat Lighthouse. I think we are all a bit tired but life is good.

The only downfall to this vacation thing is having to board our two dogs. We've never left them for this long before and I am missing them. They are hopefully, being well taken care of at the Petsmart Pet Hotel. Today, though I got a call that the two had a small fight with each other. We have them in two large, back -to- back cages with the middle separation opened so they can be with each other and walk into each other's cages. They are separated only during feedings. Apparently they finally got annoyed with each other and JD nipped Buddy's ear. Needless to say they're separated now.

Enjoy the pictures.

J

A Butterfly in our Heart

2009-08-19T22:13:00.010-04:00

On August 8th, The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation held a Memorial Butterfly Release in Philadelphia. Over 300 people joined us that afternoon and over 100 butterflies were released in memory of our loved ones. During the weeks prior to the event we invited the public to join us in remembering those whose spirits remain in our hearts but are no longer with us physically. I received many butterfly requests...from parents who had lost children, children who had lost parents, friends who lost friends, wives who lost husbands and the list goes on.

I prayed that the event would touch and comfort those who were still grieving.

We were so blessed to have had several organizations present sharing their expertise including:

http://www.safekids.org/, http://www.luluslullaby.com/, The Greater Philadelphia Chapter of the Autism Society, Burholme Ambulance and The Philadelphia Fire Department, Engine 56. I thank them all for participating in our event. They were all wonderful. I also want to extend a huge thank you to http://www.jeanes.com/ ( Jeanes Hospital) for giving us this wonderful opportunity and allowing us to use their campus for this event.

How lucky we were to have had State Representative Josh Shapiro speak about furniture tip-over and The Katie Elise Lambert Safety Task Force in Pennsylvania. We are truly blessed to have him as our governmental representative. Also on hand was Joey Fortman from 97.5 FM and MyPhl17. She spoke from the heart how she had been touch by Katie's story and how her son will now be safer because of her.

When it was time for the butterflies to be handed out, you could feel the excitement stir in the crowd. The Monarchs were delivered in small triangular boxes and the crowd gathered tightly. We counted down from ten and before we knew it over 100 Monarchs graced the air to oohs and aahhhs from the crowd. It was heartwarming and bittersweet as memories of my daughter flooded my soul. It was amazing.

Here are a few pictures from the event. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday Big B and Grandpa!

2009-08-19T21:57:00.004-04:00

This past Sunday we celebrated Big B's __ birthday and Grandpa's 75th birthday. We had a wonderful combination party complete with friends, family and lots of fun. It took lots of planning, running arounds and secret phone calls...(BIg B unfortunately found out about it) but it was fun! Thank you everyone for coming and sharing in our special day. It was wonderful to see everyone!

J

Katie's 8th birthday

2009-08-11T08:22:00.004-04:00

My Katie would have celebrated her 8th birthday this past July 30th. Instead we spent time at the cemetary, remembering her smile and praying that she sees the balloons in which the kids left for her. In anticipation of her heavenly birthday, I created another slideshow to share with all of you. It was posted on Facebook with many responses. I miss Katie with my whole being.

I am having difficulty posting the slideshow. Try clicking the looong link to view.

J

http://

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Save the DATE!

2009-07-17T21:54:00.002-04:00

On August 8th, The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation will host a Memorial Butterfly Release on the walking trails of Jeanes Hospital in Philadelphia. During the event the public will have the opportunity to come and release a butterfly in memory of someone close to their hearts who has passed away. In addition to the butterfly release there will be various safety and informational booths available, and entertainment for the children. Please join us for this wonderful event and remember your loved ones who have passed away with the release of a butterfly.
For more information please visit http://katieeliselambert.org/.

TWO YEARS AGO

2009-06-30T21:35:00.007-04:00

Two years ago today after almost 2 long days of traveling with almost no sleep in a small, hot as -hell -office almost 8,000 miles away, we finally met our spicy Hubei Honey, S. After mounds of paperwork, physicals, background clearances and passport woes our daughter and a sister came kicking and screaming into our arms in an experience like no other and one I wouldn't trade for the world.

She was 3 1/2 years old when we met and from the time we first saw her picture months before, we knew she was meant to be a forever part of our family. You can read about our trip to China here. http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/home?ID=219305

I will be eternally grateful for the work of the Heavens above, with the coaxing of one special angel who guided and eventually lead us to meet our S. It's hard to believe that 2 years have gone by already. Time has sped by so quickly that I can barely remember the time when she wasn't with us. She adds a spark of fire and fun with a dash of cuteness to our daily lives and I feel so blessed that she is my daughter.

Thank you my precious angel above for your help in bringing us together.

J

Water FUN

2009-06-23T21:37:00.002-04:00

S and Buddy

Splashing FUN

GRADUATION Week

2009-06-21T14:43:00.011-04:00

My baby girl graduated from preschool on Friday, a sign that time will never stand still, no matter how much we wish it would. Not really sure what graduation actually means, S wore her blue cap proudly, smiling and waving as her fans watched from the bleachers, except for mommy who was behind that dreaded camera again. She said goodbye to her friends and teachers, confidently stating that she was going to kindergarten now. I am so proud of my S who has come such a long way from the scared, aggressive little girl who we met in China almost two years ago. Much has changed although that hint of assertiveness still surfaces on occasional...well, maybe a bit more than occasionally.

In addition to a preschool graduation ceremony we had an elementary school graduation on Tuesday. Little b also proudly walked down the aisle of his school but with a carefree attitude not realizing that his journey into young adulthood is just about to begin. In September he will continue his journey into the junior high as Miss S transitions to the elementary school.

Time passes too quickly at times and many of my thoughts this week traveled back to when my children were babies. My life has certainly not turned out the way that I had expected with tragedy striking like a knife in my heart. But as I watch my children grow I try to remain positive and forever grateful that I have been given the chance to experience this wonder called mommyhood.

Sending Happy Father's Day wishes to dad all the way to Heaven and to my wonderful husband and father of my miracles,

Fun in the Sun with the Bees?

2009-05-12T21:29:00.003-04:00

We spent this past Mother's Day sitting outside in the sun, sipping wine watching the kids play. It was a relaxing day which ended in the culmination of king crab legs with ribs and more wine, per this mom's request. After visiting my mom Big b's mom drove over for some relaxing by the pool and great food courtesy of her son.
Cousin G spent the day with us as A was fighting some virus (swine flu??) and really need to rest. The girls had a blast playing in the water, squirting the dog and eating ice pops.
The boys continued playing baseball out front and unexpectedly found some critters in a nearby tree. The swarm was downright frightening but after a short while disappeared. I had seen something similar years ago when a HUGE swarm of honeybees surrounded our old house while migrating? Not sure where they were heading at that time, but they made a pit-stop our home covering all windows, doors, walls trapping us all inside for hours.
This time their destination was the hive in our neighbor's tree. Pretty cool.
Pictures enclosed.
Enjoy,
J

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T09:20:00.001-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all mom's with children, moms-to-be and those women who know that one day they will become a mom.

J

Look MOM A WORM!

2009-05-07T21:38:00.003-04:00

S is very fascinated with worms. She found this small one and asked if she could keep it as a pet. My tomboy.

Do You Believe in Fate?

2009-05-06T21:20:00.008-04:00

Some of you may know that several months ago I left my job working for a Medicare contractor to stay at home and decide exactly what I want to do. A year ago I left my job of 9 years after suffering from back pain and a strong desire to make a change in my life. I spent many years as nurse, doing the best that I could in a field that it so very difficult. There was a time when I was in love with my career and the excitement of going to work was enough. That all changed after Katie died. After seeing my daughter, injured and taking the last breath of her life, my life as I knew it was gone.
I took some time off from work and after several months decided to return to my job as a floor nurse. That first year was so very, very difficult. But it didn't get better. When patients complained of their pain which in my eyes could never compare with what my daughter went through, I tried my best to empathize and go through the motions of nursing them. But my thoughts would always stray back to Katie. When a patient would tell me their knee or hip hurt, I felt for them but it was never as bad as the pain Katie felt. I found myself always comparing each and gradually losing my motivation to remain where I was.
So here I am about to embark on another area of employment, something so entirely different that even I need to pinch myself. You know my love of photography (even thought I'm not a good photographer). Yesterday I went for a group interview as a newborn photographer at one of our local hospitals. And you know what????
I was offered the job. I am so blessed.
But there is more... (sorry for the long post)....but it gets a bit longer. A couple of years ago during Christmas time I was visiting Katie's wall at the cemetary, not grave because she is not buried), and hanging decorations. Not far from where Katie's ashes are, was an older woman obviously upset and trying to hang large Christmas stockings on her family member's wall.
I lent her some of tape and we briefly spoke. She, too lost her daughter about two years prior to Katie's death. We both shed tears for each other and hug prior to our departures. I haven't seen her again although I leave butterfly stickers on her daughter's wall and I find small thoughts from her on Katie's wall.
The job interview yesterday was a group interview. There were 4 of us woman applying for the photographer's position. A young quiet girl, a very chatty woman about my age, and older woman and myself. After about two hours of this very informal interview I had found that this older woman had lost a daughter too, about 6 years ago. And, she kept looking at me, saying how familiar I looked to her. I just shrugged it off as her probably seeing me on the news the other day...but didn't say anything. I had planned to confide to her that I lost a daughter too.
During one of the many times she was telling me that she thought she knew me I told her my last name. She said, I know one Lambert but you don't look like her. I asked her "What is her name?" She says that she doesn't know but that she had a daughter who died.... and her name was Katie." I respond that Katie is my daughter who died in a furniture tip-over accident. I still have no idea who this woman is but that she seemed very sad, and very nice. She smiled and reminded me of the time at the cemetery when I had helped a woman hang a stocking....that woman was her.
After that, we hugged, talked cried...all during the interview. YIKES! We briefly informed our interviewer and other interviewees of our stories. They are sat there wide-eyed and unbelieving.
After the interview/conversation ended the other two woman left and we sat with our interviewer. I apologized to her for what had happened and she responded that it was absolutely NO problem and that she had made her decision and the two of us were hired. WOW! Could it be the work of two special angels...Katie and Jennifer bringing their two grief-stricken moms together, with completely different career backgrounds in the most unlikely place.....
There is a reason for everything and HE has a plan which we may never fully understand. But if you do not believe, maybe my story will touch and give to you a piece of faith, belief and hope in a stronger power.
Thank you my Angel, mommy misses you,
J

FURNITURE TIP-OVER

2009-05-05T12:03:00.003-04:00

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4988949n

Yesterday a new study was released spanning over 18 years of research. The study, conducted by National Children's Hospital, examined the incidences of furniture tip-over between 19909 - 2008. The statistics are alarming. There has been a 41 % rise in child injuries related to falling furniture. Since 1990, 300 children have been killed, inlcuding my Katie. Please take a look at the video link above, then pass the information along to everyone that you know, who has or knows a child. The information can be life-saving. For more information, please visit http://katieeliselambert.org/. Also check out our You Tube Video, Help Save A Life. The link is to the right.

J

Tick!!!

2009-05-01T19:05:00.004-04:00

This is what I found on Buddy about 30 minutes ago. Both dogs are treated with Frontline and the tick had not embedded itself (Thank goodness.)
I am completely grossed out right now. Time to pour a glass of wine.

J

Furniture Tip-Over FAQs

2009-05-01T18:57:00.003-04:00

FAQs About Furniture Tip-over

Question 1. My furniture is a high-end, well-made expensive piece. Can it still tip?

A. YES. Every piece of freestanding furniture/ large appliance and TVs has the capability of tipping. All it takes is for a child to pull on or stand in an open drawer or on a shelf to cause it to top. No PIECE OF FURNITURE OR TELEVISION IS SAFE UNLESS IT IS PROPERLY SECURED TO THE WALL.

Question 2. Do I need to secure my furniture directly into a stud in the wall or will securing it into drywall be sufficient?

A. Neither sheetrock nor drywall is strong enough to withstand the possible torpedo-like fall that an unsecured piece of furniture may cause. The stud in a wall is built to hold the wall and roof of one’s home. All furniture/large appliances/TVs must be properly secured to a stud in the wall.

Question 3. My television is extremely heavy and I need my husband to move it when I clean. My child cannot tip this, can she?

A. A. ABSOLUTELY! Many times televisions are placed on stands which are inappropriately sized for the TV. Any sudden movement can cause the TV and stand to crash forward. (If unable to have a newer, flat screen TV which is properly anchored to the wall, then make sure that TVs are placed on stands which are appropriate for its size. Stands should be very low to the ground and the TVS should be pushed as far back as possible on the stand and both the stand and television properly secured to the wall. ) DO NOT PLACE TVS ON TOPS OF DRESSERS. DO NOT PLACE ITEMS WHICH MAY TEMPT A CHILD TO CLIMB ON TOPS OF THE TVS.

B. Properly secure all stands/TVS to the floor or to a stud in wall.

Question 4. My children are older and out of the climbing age. They sit on the floor now and play video games in front of the television. They are safe, right?

A. Wrong. Many deaths have resulted from older children as they sat in front of the TV playing video games. Many Older televisions are front heavy and any slight movement, whether changing a game, turning it on or off or the excited kick from a child could easily result in both the stand and television to crash forward onto the child.
B. If unable to secure a newer flat screen directly to your wall, then push the television as far back as possible on its stand. Make sure the stand is low to the ground and appropriate for the size of the Television. Properly secure the TV to the stand and to a stud in the wall.

Question 5. My child’s dresser sits low to the ground, it is not very tall. Does it still need to be tethered?

Absolutely! All freestanding furniture/large appliances/TVs need to be properly secured to the wall regardless of its size. If the child opens a drawer and pulls on it or stands in it, the furniture could become a front-heavy torpedo, and the innocent, unsuspecting child, its victim.

Question 6. The risk is so low my child will die; do I really need to be concerned?

A. Unless you want to bury your own child. YES!! No parent who has lost a child expected it to happen to them. Why not do everything you can to keep them safe? We never thought it would happen to us either. It happens to an average of 16 children every year. Don’t let it happen to yours.

Question 7. I have taught my child NEVER to climb on the furniture, so I do not need to worry, right?

A. WRONG. Play is the work of children. Even if your child can parrot back the “rules” to you, it doesn’t mean they will follow them when playing or when they REALLY want to get that (fill in the blank). Kids think they are invincible and do not recognize danger when they are in the moment. It is our job as parents to make their environments as safe as possible.

Question 8. I never leave my child alone and even if something happened I’d be able to save them, right?

A. Even the best parent is never truly within arms reach of their child all the time. There have been parents who were standing in the same room as their child at the time a piece of furniture or Television fell. It takes just a second for furniture to tip, not enough time to stop the crash.

Question 9. Won’t securing furniture and TV’s to the wall cause damage to them and look bad?

A. Are your walls and possessions more precious to you then your child? If not, why do you ask?
Sure, small holes will be put in walls and furniture or strong adhesive to televisions and /or wall/furniture. This may hinder the resale value. Does it really matter that much? Tethering devices can almost always be installed so they are not seen. Holes in objects can be repaired. Your heart, when broken because your child has died, cannot ever be fixed. Which do you prefer?

Question 10. If falling furniture is such a danger, why are there not warning labels saying so on the furniture where it is sold and why are devices to secure them to the wall not readily available at my local store?

A. Excellent question, we wondered the same thing. It is why we’ve been working tirelessly with our US House of Representatives, local government, the CPSC, and ASTM (an international standards organization) to see to it that warnings are included and that the tethering devices are included with at risk pieces of furniture and TV”s and sold at all the places other childproofing items are. In the meantime, our Web sites have information on what and where to buy and what the risks are.

Time for Bed?

2009-04-28T21:37:00.002-04:00

Miss S attends a local preschool from Monday thru Thursday each week. She begins at 9 and I pick her up at 3. They do "school stuff" in the morning, have lunch, playtime and afterwards...they sleep.

When S first started this school back in September she would despise the nap times and lie on her "cot" pretending to be asleep.

All was good. Now, she actually sleeps and it's awful. The dreaded naps have turned our bedtimes into more hours of silent play, getting out of bed for every excuse out there and late nights.

S doesn't want to sleep nor do I think that she can after a long comfy nap at school.

It's a vicious cycle. She stays up late, is tired the next day, needs a nap at school and therefore isn't tired at the normal bedtime.

What do we do?

Need to Catch up

2009-04-24T22:32:00.003-04:00

I cannot figure out why my blogging time has been cut down so much. I've been home for a couple of months now and it seems that I'm busier now than when I was working full-time. Why is that?

For the past several weeks I have been preparing to participate in the Baby & Toddler Expo which was held last weekend. We spent some time writing new brochures, gathering volunteers and ordering give-aways for the children. The event was successfull in that we met many parents, parents -to -be who still were not aware of the dangers of furniture tip-over. Most were very receptive to our mission and I feel that for those who were learning about this type of danger for the first time, they were taking our warnings to heart.

Some people had heard about us at one time or another and thanked us for what we were doing. One mom cried with me, for my little girl and for her children who remained safe.

I think I can say that as compared to our first shows 4 years ago, more people were aware of the danger and their furniture was secured. This makes me feel good.

Now, for the rest???? Maybe if the pediatricians would come on board and start mentioning furniture tip-over during well-baby, well-child visits...then perhaps more parents would be aware.

Did you all know that over 42,000 people were injured in 2006 from furniture tip-over? 42,000!!! That's an extreme amount. 16 people yearly die as a result of falling furniture. Out of the 180 deaths from 2000 to 2006...80% were to children. PEDIATRCIANS Where are you?

Sorry for the rant.

A few pictures from the event.

A Long Time

2009-03-17T19:55:00.006-04:00

It has been a very long, long time since I have last written and boy do I feel guilty. Life has been very busy and it's all good.

We are enjoying the nice weather and anticipating the coming of Spring. The boys are getting back into the swing of baseball and S is continuing karate twice a week. We decided to enroll her in karate to help her attention/focusing and to make her use her right arm. I have seen such a big improvement since she first started and I am very proud of her.

The boys are now playing for East Abington Little League on two different teams so our Spring will be filled with practices and games.

The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation will be participating in the http://www.babyandtoddlerexpo.net/index.shtml on April 18th anf 19th. I have been working with a graphic artist on an updated butterfly logo, creating new brochures, thinking about Monarch butterflies in the summer and another safety fair in 2010. Lots to think about...lots to do. Life is good.

I will definitly post more as time permits...but for now, I will post a few pictures.

Until the next time,

VALLEY FORGE PARK

2009-02-15T08:33:00.006-05:00

These are just a few miscellaneous photos taken at Valley Forge National Park yesterday afternoon. The kids had a good time and E took many pictures of the herd of deer that we found. I tried to post the best pictures but sometimes it's hard to see which pictures on blogger when trying to upload.

Enjoy.

S's PARTY

2009-02-15T08:15:00.003-05:00

S's birthday party was held last weekend at our home. I began to worry about how to enetertain 10 five year olds so I decided to hire CHIPPY THE CLOWN. She was awesome and did a fantastic job with the kids. They did a short craft then she had them dancing, singing hopping and then did some magic. She was well worth the money considering that it was 17 kids here along with parents and not the original 10.

I have not been posting much lately and I am feeling a tad bit guilty although I see most of you on FB each day which is great. I think I'm becoming one of those FB addicts and although I try to limit my time there to just a few minutes I still find myself logging on several times a day checkin status updates. UGH! Last year I was addicted to RumorQueen and now it's Facebook. Is there any help out there for this addiction?

I am presently looking for a part-time job somewhere out there...(are there any) in which I might be able to use my nursing knowledge. Not patient care but perhaps continuing chart reviews as I had been doing. Part-time is perfect as it will still allow me to be home with the kids often. I am finding that homework has increased tremendously this year for the boys and even though most of the day to day homework is done independently, the projects are complicated enough where a parents guidance and supervision is needed. The job at Maximus was 25 miles too far.

My photography class continues to be a lot of fun and I'm disappointed that we are off tomorrow due to President's Day. I have been spending some time traveling to parks and out my front door snapping pictures and hoping for a good turn out. I've downloaded hundreds of pictures, our most recent ones from Valley Forge National Park taken yesterday. I will upload them later in it's on post.

Everyone has been healthy, knock on wood, and the kids are well. Even though the now can be beautiful, if and when we see it, we are all looking forward to the start of Spring and hanging outdoors. Yesterday was a good day as the Philadelphia Phillies pitchers and catchers were to meet in Clearwater, FL. Yes, Spring can't come soon enough.

Until the next time,
J

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2009-02-02T21:35:00.003-05:00

Today I was able to celebrate a wonderful gift which was given to me by a woman with whom I will never know. Somewhere, on the other side of the earth in a country called China, an unknown woman is grieving for one of life's greatest losses, greatest devastation's, biggest tragedies. This loss... is the loss of one's child. Five years ago today a woman gave birth to a beautiful, precious little girl, perhaps not realizing the events which were to unfold. I often wonder about this courageous woman who shares a bond so deep with me that words cannot describe; Is she old?...does she have other children?... is she very young?....Is she married...or is she very poor?... does she live in fear of a "one-child-policy?...These things I will never, ever know about her. What I do realize, is what she has done takes more courage than I will ever have gained in my entire lifetime. Her actions have given me one of life's greatest treasures....a child. My daughter, S. My precious daughter, S, will always know that she has the gift of two mommys...one who gave her life...one who gives her a chance... To S's birth mommy in China, " thank you, thank you, thank you."

Fun in the SNOW

2009-01-22T21:03:00.003-05:00

Several days ago we had a very small snowfall which the kids enjoyed to the max. We live on a hill and even though there was maybe only 2 inches of snow outside the kids found their sleds and our driveway became a wonderful sledding mountain.
I was able to capture several pictures of the fun.

On another note, I contacted the school district today just to make sure that S's China paperwork would be sufficient for her kindergarten registration in two weeks and to my surprise...NO, it wouldn't. I either need a U.S. birth certificate or U.S. passport and of course, I have neither. We did not readopt S on U.S. soil, as we did not think it was absolutely necessary.
Now we need to attempt to get a passport for her....ASAP. Great..but it is what it is.

Until the next time,
J

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, E!

2009-01-19T06:43:00.005-05:00

We finally were able to make it out for E's birthday dinner on Saturday night. After a couple of weeks of postponing, the flu seems to have made its way out of our house for the time being and we all got out to dinner. I told E that we would take him to any restaurant that he wanted to go..it was his choice. (of course I gave him a few choices that mommy liked) but for some reason he had his heart set on APPLEBEES so that is where we went. It actually wasn't that bad, the service was decent and for once the food was okay. The boys ate almost everything on their plates. Afterwards we headed back to our house for some cake and a bit of WII. I was pleased that everyone had a good time and most of all that E was happy.

On another note, I spent many days the past week on a hunt for snow pants. Who knew how difficult it would be to find them in the middle of winter????( I saw bathing suits and summer clothes though...) I looked online and shopped at 3 or 4 stores before finding several at Dick's Sporting Goods on clearance...
I am planning on taking the kids snow tubing next weekend....(Looking forward to that.)..and we all needed some snow gear to help keep warm and dry.

On a final note, this is the anniversary week of my Katie's death. It will be 4 years since I last held my baby in my arms. Please remember her this week and warn others of the dangers of unsecured furniture.

Until the next time,
J

LAST WEEK IN REVIEW

2009-01-11T07:18:00.007-05:00

It all started last Saturday morning when E awakened not feeling too well with a sore throat and fever. He quietly lay around the house that day not really eating, not wanting to do much of anything. We had his birthday dinner planned for that evening with several of his friends that I needed to postpone for the next Saturday. E felt a bit better on Sunday and on Monday I let him go to school as he hadn't had a fever for 24 hours....( I follow the 24 hour rule). By Tuesday morning the poor boy was so sick, feverish, achy ( is that spelled correctly), and feeling just plain crummy. From that Tuesday morning until yesterday morning, he had a temperature usually above 101 and had even spiked to 104.6 at one point. I felt so bad for him. The doctors thought he was brewing a sinus infection on Tuesday, little did they know...when I called again a day or two later, I was told..."well, it could be the flu."
Poor E was the only person in our house that did not receive the flu shot this year. At the time we had taken the kids for their appt, he had a fever and they wouldn't give it to him. The next time,,,,we were told they had run out! What? Who is running out of the flu shot this year???
ON Friday I got a call from the pediatrician's office saying that they received more flu shots in and would we like to bring E in???? I laughed sarcastically and gently told the (incompetent) flu shot orderers, that it would do little good now as he is strickened with what we believe to be the FLU!
His 2nd birthday dinner has been postponed again until next Saturday provided everyone is healthy. I've notified the parents again and this time we are all keeping our fingers crossed that we can eventually celebrate E's double digit birthday with his friends next week.

ON another note, I spent my first week home from work ( going stir crazy). ON Tuesday afternoon when Big B went to pick up E's prescription at the pharmacy we so luckily found out that our health insurance had been dropped! WHAT! As of January 6th, someone dropped us...The employment agency that I was working through informed me that it was United Healthcare's fault and of course UH informed us that it was the agency's fault. On that day, Big B had fasted all day and was about to begin the "so looked forward to" prep for his test that was scheduled the following day. Needless to say I was livid. The test had to be cancelled until the mess was cleared up...I spent a sleepless night wondering and praying that nothing huge would happen to anyone in my family while we were "insurance less."
I have been told that it was a big mix up...still don't know whose fault it was and I do not really care as long as we are all covered.

I was offered a part-time position to go back to the company with which I had just resigned... They want to know what hours I would like to work and when I can start....(UGH) about that one. Not sure that I want to do this....I've only been home for one week and I still haven't had a chance to work on http://katieeliselambert.org/ (The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation). However, it does make me feel kind of good that I was liked and the job would like to have me back.

Big B did come home early on Friday so I could meet a friend for lunch with S. My friend, A, is excitedly preparing for her family's journey to China to meet her youngest daughter. Her daughter is about 16 months old, incredibly cute and is waiting for her forever family to come take her home. They will be travelling in about 3 weeks and if okay with my friend, I will post updates as they make their journey of a lifetime half way around the world.

The pictures are from the one day that E felt good enough to eat his cake (the big cake that we had ordered and still had to buy even though his party was posponed).

Until the next time,
J

My MOM

2009-01-07T06:48:00.006-05:00

My mom is a wonderful woman who dedicated the majority of her life to the raising of her 8 children. My dad worked in the real estate industry, therefore working most nights and every weekend. He would leave by 8:30 in the AM, be back to have dinner waiting for him on the table then head back to the office until 9PM. My mom stayed at home and did her best trying to teach us to become the best possible people that we could be.
My dad passed away in July 2001, 17 days before my beautiful Katie was born. Her birth helped soften the pain and hurt of his death.
My mom then spent much of the next few years occupying herself with my 3 little children by spending much time at my house keeping busy. After the unexpected death of Katie something changed though. We began to notice little things....forgetting this, forgetting that...maybe it was depression?
As time crept by the memory lapses grew worse. One doctor attributed the forgetfulness to age-related factors and brushed it off.
My mom has Alzheimer's. It is a difficult, devastating and will eventually become a debilitating disease..and there is nothing anyone can do about it. As a nurse who worked in geriatrics, dementia and Alzheimer's are common items seen quite frequently in a patent's medical history. We learn that patients diagnosed with these illnesses are poor historians, will have difficulty following simple instructions and will need frequent verbal cues for their ADLs.
My mom has no short-term memory left. Her conversations consist of repetition and constant questioning. It is devastating for not only those who surround her but to her as well. She realizes her memory is failing and wants desperately to cure her lapses. There is no cure. Sure there are medications which claim to help ease the symptoms of the disease, but for her, they have not worked.
As my mom's memory of her life continues it's vicious disappearing act, the memory of who my mom once was will remain forever strong in the depths of my heart.
I posted several pictures taken of my mom from the holidays at her house. Included in the pictures is my nephew M, Little b, S and me.

J

One Chapter Ends, a New One Begins

2009-01-04T19:21:00.008-05:00

As I left my "new" job on Friday, bittersweet thoughts filled my mind. Even though a very short chapter of my life has ended I am left with memories and thoughts that I would never have imagined I could or would ever have. The work, well, that was okay. Doing Medicare referrals was something completely different from every other nursing job that I had held. It was my first office position, with a desk, a copier and even a water cooler. Quite different from the dog-eat-dog world of floor nursing, insulin injections and the basic hospital environment. Pretty cool it was.

But what I will miss the most, is the wonderful people that I had met along the way. Some pretty good friends were made along the way, one or two ...very, very special ones. So, as I walked out of the building, to my car, I wasn't filled with child-like excitement of someone who was about to "not have to go back to work Monday," but instead with bittersweet feelings of missing those who have grown so special and a new chapter of my life about to begin. As I end this part of my "today's" post, please remember that we do not always choose the people who will enter our lives and most times, they will enter spontaneously, without us knowing the reasons for their purpose at the time. Value each friendship that God gives you the chance to nurture, and value the time spent together, whether laughing, griping or sharing stories of your kids. Don't question the "whys" but just sit back and enjoy.

And now that I have probably confused most of my 4 readers....
Until the next time,
J

2008-12-28T20:26:00.007-05:00

New pics from my NEW CAMERA! Thought I share some pictures of the kids spent at Alverthorpe. Many of the pictures were taken by E. He is enjoying the camera just as much as mom is.

Had to post this one of S. Doesn't she look like an angel?

My new camera is the NIKON D60. I researched it a little and had it narrowed down between the D90 and D60. The D90 plays video and I was really interested in having the capability of doing that. However, it was pointed out to me that the Ultra Flip costs just $150 and fits into your purse perfectly. The D90 costs about 5oo dollars more than the D60 which definitly helped my decision and might be a bit a more complicated to use. So, I settled on the NIKON D 6o and so far have been very pleased with the results. At the nearby playground E and S decided to ride the tire swing. I was actually able to capture their spins without the pics coming out blurry. Just love it.

More pictures ot come later.
2 1/2 days left of work.....
J

Christmas 2008

2008-12-28T19:46:00.003-05:00

Another Christmas has come and gone to be placed into the memory books of our hearts. We had a wonderful holiday spending it with Big B's family. HIs brother, R, from Tennessee and his family spent the week close by and we had a great time. Christmas Eve we took the kids to their place for a swim in the indoor pool at the hotel that they were staying. The kids had a ball and were all tired by the time we headed to home (which was the plan). S fell asleep in the car and went straight into her bed and E headed there after the cookies and milk were placed for Santa to see.

The morning was nice as the kids slept to the wonderful hour of 7:30. After presents, and breakfast I headed to the cemetary and then to visit my mom. Then it was back home to prepare for our guests. Big B's brothers and their families along with his sister A and her daughter, his parents and Marilyn all arrived later for dinner. Santa brought the boys Rockband for the WII and we had a great time attempting to sing, drum and play guitar like the pros.

The day sped by and soon I was thinking how much preparation goes into just one day to have it end too quickly. I felt the same way for our big Christmas party which we held back on the 13th. I anticipated that day for so long and poof...it was over.

All in all it was a great holiday and I'm thankful that we spent it in good health. I missed by baby Katie but the feeling sorry for myself only lasted a few minutes. I was able to pull myself out of the funk before really falling into it and was able to maintain thankfulness for what I do have and what God has given to me the chance to experience.

Now onto some current news about life in general... It's been awhile since my last post so you might not know that I resigned from job. For those of you who see me on FACEBOOK, you all know already. My notice has been given and my last day will be this coming Friday. I have been given the opportunity to be able to work on The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation and help continue the efforts of raising awareness of child safety. I am grateful to be given this chance and hope that my daughter's name will continue to be associated with child safety.

On one final note....I got my new CAMERA!!!! I love, love love it and cannot wait to post the newest pics on here. The ones on this post are from my old camera and after this all will be from the new NIKON> I took it to the park today with the kids and it was so awesome to take pictures of the kids running and playing without them turning out blurry. The weather was unseasonably warm, the bikes were out and we all enjoyed the fresh air.

Time to run and I am wishing everyone peace for the new year.

CandleLIghting Ceremony

2008-12-17T04:38:00.006-05:00

I thought that I would post a few pictures from the Compassionate Friends Candle Lighting Ceremony which was held on Sunday evening throughout the world. It is the hope of CF that for 24 hours straight, each year on the second Sunday of December, that a continuous wave of light will circle the world in memory of all children who have died too soon. This year's local event was sponsored by a local Foundation, http://luluslullaby.com/index.php. Friends of ours lost their daughter to Suddden Unexplained Death, back in August....she was just 2 years old. It was a wonderful, yet heartbreaking moment to see my friend, R, the mom of one of God's newest angels. To hold another person, another mom, who feels what you feel, who is experiencing the intense grief that only a parent can even begin to understand, is a bittersweet moment that soon will not be forgotten. I want to thank everyone who remembered my angel Katie, on Sunday evening and who offered their thoughts to me on Facebook.

Please let this serve as a reminder, to never, ever, take you children for granted. Remember to hold them, hug them and tell them you love them each and every day..several times a day. Little Olivia passed away in her sleep just a couple of hours after being put to bed. No warning, no signs, nothing. God was ready for another beautiful angel and he chose Olivia to join Him in paradise.

The Big Party!

2008-12-13T06:35:00.002-05:00

Today is the day of our Christmas party. I may have mentioned previously that what began as an intimate Christmas get-together has turned itself into a large (lots of people) party. Last night Big B and I began preparing the house to hopefully hold many people. We put up additional tables and chairs, started preparing our bar area...it wil be self serve, and now are basiclaly just keeping our fingers crossed. We have held many parties in our lifetime but usually the larger ones are planned during the summer months so people have the choice to sit outside by the pool or inside in the air conditioning. Nothing this big has been planned before during the winter and I pray that it turns out well and that our friends and families enjoy the company, the food and the Christmas spirit. I know I am really looking forward to seeing some friends whom I haven't seen in quite some time...only on Facebook....and to hang out with my new friends in a non-work atmosphere.

I hope everyone is doing well and I will try to post tonight after it's over.
J

The Hunt for the Perfect Tree

2008-11-30T21:44:00.011-05:00

Last Saturday it was time to once again look for the perfect Christmas tree. Aunt A and mom mom, little misses, S and G and myself took my van while Big B and the boys drove the jeep to Colavita Tree Farm. Even though we got lost on our way we had a great time searching for our trees. The weather was perfect and the kids all were excited. They had a wonderful time hiding among the hundreds of trees while we hunted for what would eventually grace our living rooms with bright lights and shiny decorations.
We had them wrapped and tied to our roofs and each of us headed back homes quickly to get the trees into water within the hour. Success. Big B took our tree home while Aunt A and I carried hers into her living room. Beautiful.
Our tree in now completely decorated as well as our house. I've been busily preparing our home to welcome our family and friends to our home in a "welcoming in the hoidays" party next Saturday.
What began as a small Christmas get-together has turned into what may become a large Christmas bash! That's okay though. I am truly excited that many people have given me the "yes" response to the RSVP.
Besides the decorating I've been shopping, cleaning and praying that everyone and everything turns out well.
Today I took S shopping as I usually do on Saturdays. She is so hyper sometimes I felt my nerves pretty well shot by the time I put her to bed tonight. The girl does not know how to stop moving. We first went to Michael's craft store which was WAY too crowded to move through the aisles comfortably. As people passed each other each would need to turn sideways to pass without bumping the other's bags, merchandise or handbags. S was excited to see the craft toys there, especially the Hanna Montana items and had trouble keeping her hands to herself. She touched everything and moved like a pinball, rapidly from one item to another, touching, looking and grabbing. The other patrons in the store were probably sick of hearing me yell for "S" nearly the entire time we were there.
Our next stop was Target. Once again we shopped while Miss S insisted on pushing the cart. All was well except for the cart constantly getting stuck while she attempted each of her turns.
One thing that she always wants to do is stand on the front of the cart while being pushed. I don't let her do this and have always said no to her persistence. While waiting in another very long..(the slowest line in the store), S decided to climb on the front of the cart while my eyes were scanning the endcap of DVDs. We were standing still and I guess my patience was wearing thin. Before I could blink, the cart with S on in tipped and both hit the floor. A nearby customer grabbed S off the floor while I stood still trying to figure out what happened. She was okay but received another talk about trying to stand still and not standing on the front of the cart. I felt another grey hair pop up after this and couldn't wait to escape the store.
Then off to CVS and then to PetSmart we went where she was a bit quieter and a little less touchy but energetic nonetheless.
I was glad to get home and S is finally in bed. I often wonder how one can keep going without really taking much of a break when one is just 4 years old. Does anyone have answers?

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures from our tree hunt and I promise to post more perhaps tomorrow. A little tired now so I wish the very few people who follow my blog, a good night.

J

What are you Thankful For?

2008-11-30T07:51:00.000-05:00

So there is this list floating around and you are supposed to bold the things that you have done in your life. Should be fun! Feel free to play along!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train2
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
9. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person5
0. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China? (Does just China count)
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen (hope to soon)!
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in Arlington
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (does a thesis count)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
I have so much to be thankful for....Happy Thanksgiving!

LET US REMEMBER...

2008-11-24T21:07:00.001-05:00

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx

I'M HERE!

2008-11-21T18:31:00.000-05:00

Okay,okay, I know, it's been two weeks since my last update. Oops. I'm sorry for the time lapse but there just has not been too much to blog about recently. Let me see. I guess I could tell you all about the tick I found on S last week. EEEWW. S was upstairs in the bathroom and began yelling for me. She was screaming, "SPIIIIDERRRR! Mama, SPIIIIIIDER!!!!! Now being the very nurturing, compassionate mom like I am, I yelled back from down the steps....it's okay S, he's just coming inside to keep warm! Just leave him alone...spiders are good. They eat other bugs!" I felt like I had done my motherly duty until I hear footsteps running from the bathroom.....and E yelling...MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! IT'S A TICK!!!!!! Here, E was venturing by the open bathroom when he stopped to sneak a peek at one of his favorite creatures....the spider, and noticed that indeed it WAS NOT CHARLOTTE or one of her descendants. It was Mr. Tick and it was embedded in S's thigh. GROSS and pretty dangerous. I looked at the disgusting creepy crawly and ran to find tweezers...(while thinking....damn if only I didn't get my eyebrows waxed, I would know where the freaking tweezers were). Just then I heard a blessed sound which was of the garage door opening and Big B coming home. YEAH! Big hubby to the rescue. He pulled, rather dug that %$#@ disgusting DEER tick out of S's thigh while I still continued my search for those damn tweezers. (I never did find them.) Vicky's Nail Salon owners will be happy about that.

So after our tick ordeal I found myself with a brand new worry...one of my favorite past times is worrying. My new worry? Lyme Disease. I've been keeping my eye on her leg for bulls-eye rash and thankfully it has not appeared.

Big B had doctor duty on Wednesday..without me. After 11 years, he finally had the chance to take the three kids for check-ups and experience the joy of them receiving their shots. I, thankfully, was working. Little b and S had 7 shots between the both of them for which I was disappointed. E got off easily as he was running a low grade fever so the flu shot was postponed for him. Little b has been sick since though. He's got a nasty case of phlebitis on his right upper arm, along with chills, aches, and feeling plain lousy. Trouble is, I'm not sure if it's from one of his 3 shots or he's just got a virus.Hopefully he will be feeling a little better tomorrow.

On another note, I just can't believe that next Thursday is Thanksgiving. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were sitting by the pool, or playing at the beach. I still want to feel the hot sun's ultraviolet rays and watch the butterflies dancing in the warm breezes. I'm not ready for these cold Northeast winds whipping my face with frozen precipitation. And what is the deal with the snow already? Isn't it a little early?

Where does the time go? And then there's Christmas....How many of you are finished your shopping? How many have started? Is it really just a little more than a month away? Quick, let change the subject.

I have a new favorite singer for anyone that cares. It's Chris Daughtry (yes, I do believe he was an AI winner). Not sure why I put this in my post, but it's here to stay.

But instead of posting his video, I've decided to post a video of one of my favorite songs for Christmas season. It's by the Trans Siberian Orchestra...their version of Pachebel's Canon. As we begin the holiday season, let us all remember what it really is all about.

Enjoy,
J

THIS CAMERA!

2008-11-09T20:36:00.000-05:00

My camera has got to be one of the worst cameras on the market. It is the Sony Cyber Shot and it has failed me many, many times. The photos consistently turn out fuzzy, distorted and without the correct light...even with a flash. The pictures in this posting are proof. I took many pictures yesterday as the kids played inside together and only a few came out decent enough to post. The pictures here are proof of the poor quality the camera exhibits.

We have been looking for a good, decent camera for some time now and I am hoping that Christmas will bring one that will enable us to capture memories that will last forever. We've been researching NIKONs and have it narrowed to 3 and I am looking forward to having a camera which I will feel confident using in the near future.

Once again I find that Monday is rapidly approaching and a long awaited weekend is drawing to a close. It's difficult to believe that it's November 9 already and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. It's crazy how quickly time is passing by for me. Wasn't it just summer and we were sitting by the pool? Weren't we just celebrating the 4th of july in the sweltering heat? Didn't I just hear someone say that they're sick of 90 degree weather?

How very frightening to know that if I die at the average age of...is it 76 for a woman, that my life is more than half over.

Does anyone else feel that the older you become...the faster life moves? Is there is a way to slow it down, enjoy and savor each moment?

I hope you enjoy the picures of Buddy and S. The two have come along way...Buddy has show great patience recently with S. He is tolerating her but we still try to keep her away from him for the most part.

Enjoy and have a great Monday!

Help Save A LIFE

2008-11-06T20:23:00.000-05:00

Below is a message posted by Dennis McKeon, author of the Petition to help pass H.R. 4266. This bill, which sits in Congress, would require warning labels on all free standing furniture and tethering devices to be included when they are sold.
Please help us to help keep children safe from furniture tip-over and contact your local representative and tell them to support this life saving piece of legislation.

Thank you,
Judy

It has been over 3 years since we got involved in the battle to save our children from these types of accidents. It has been a lot longer for the families who have lost children and have tried to raise the awareness of the nation and make our lawmakers do something to protect other children. For three years as HR Bill 1861 died in committee and HR 4266 was resubmitted we have gathered nearly 11,000 signatures on our petition but still members of Congress have turned a blind eye and children continue to die. We are hopeful with that with the new administration just elected promising change things might actually well "CHANGE" HR 4266 was submitted 12/17/07 and in almost a year has only garnered 11 co-sponsors

Dennis

Petition http://www.petitiononline.com/HR1861/petition.html HR BILL 4266 (FORMERLY HR BILL 1861) http://www.where-to-turn.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=33 Yonkers toddler killed after TV topples from bedroom dresser http://www.where-to-turn.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=45816
__._,_.___ Rep Baldwin, Tammy [WI-2] - 2/7/2008 Rep Chandler, Ben [KY-6] - 1/16/2008 Rep Cleaver, Emanuel [MO-5] - 2/6/2008 Rep Eshoo, Anna G. [CA-14] - 3/14/2008 Rep Fossella, Vito [NY-13] - 12/19/2007 Rep Graves, Sam [MO-6] - 2/14/2008 Rep LoBiondo, Frank A. [NJ-2] - 12/18/2007 Rep McGovern, James P. [MA-3] - 12/4/2007 Rep Moore, Dennis [KS-3] - 2/25/2008 Rep Price, David E. [NC-4] - 2/25/2008 Rep Skelton, Ike [MO-4] - 3/4/2008

Please contact your Representative and have them get on board to protect the most vulnerable in our society. Don't let another family have to lose another child as did the DiTomaso family did this week in Yonkers. Below are links to our petition and information on the bill please sign on...get involved and help us make a change.

HEAVY HEART

2008-11-05T21:29:00.000-05:00

It is with heavy heart that I have learned of another innocent life being taken too soon. Please visit http://luluslullaby.com/aboutus.php?opt=2 to learn about Olivia. She was not killed by furniture tip-over but passed away silently in her sleep.

Please keep her family in your prayers.

J

2008-10-31T20:51:00.000-04:00

These were taken just before trick-or-treating tonight. E's friend D came with us and as a family we trick or treated throuout the neighborhood. S looks like a pearl in a sea of scariness.

It's been quite some time since I last updated this blog. I am having difficulty finding enough time to dedicate to writing and updating. I am hoping that this will be temporary and that soon I will back to posting a couple times weekly as we approach the holidays.

This past week has been amazing here in the city of Philadelphia. As everyone knows, our beloved Phillies won the World Series two nights ago after a 28 year drought. What a sweet time it's been. No flaming here but Big B kept the boys home from school today and drove everyone including his sister and her daughter, down to the biggest celebration that this city has ever seen. The pictures do not do it justice. I only wish that I could have experienced the amazing moments in person as well. DH told me that he has never seen anything like it in his life and I can almost bet that he never will. I want to thank COMCAST for helping to break the curse which has plagued the city of Philadelphia for 28 years. I really believe that by putting that small statue of Billy Pen on top of the COMCAST Tower helped to rid the curse. For right now, Comcast, you are forgiven for the sometimes lousy service which you give us at such a cost. But by next week, when my computer won't sign on, I will be back to being angry with you.

I have actually just lost the rest of my entire post so I'm feeling quite frustrated. I'm glad the pictures are still on here.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN to EVERYONE.

PUMPKINS, GORDS AND HALLOWEEN FUN

2008-10-19T21:43:00.000-04:00

Once again the weekend has flown by too quickly and work-related anxieties are beginning to brew inside myself.

But first the weekend. We started out by going out for pizza to our favorite Italian kid-friendly restaurant, Roman Delight, on Friday evening. We waited patiently for our pizzas and vege strombolis. While waiting, Big B and I enjoyed our $1.00 Micholob Lights and the kids munched on chicken wings. NOthing too terribly exciting.

Then those deliciously, fantastically smelling pizzas appeared. YUUMMMY. But, where's the stromboli? Oh here it comes....couldn't wait to stick my knife and fork into that sea of veges..But wait! The inside was ice cold! YIKES! We have been going to Roman Delight for years now and this is the first time that something hasn't turned out 100% from them. I wouldn't hold it against them, their food is usually wonderful and the service usually quick and efficient. They were very apologetic for their uncooked stromboli so all is forgiven.

Don't know why I told you all that, but I don't feel like deleting it so it is what it is.

Onto Saturday. Big B, Aunt A and her daughter, G, and the rest of us decided to take a trip to Snipes Farm to pick a few pumpkins and maybe several apples. What a gorgeous day it was to plan to spend a few hours outdoors. As soon as we arrived to the farm, S and I decided to go to the bathroom before entering the corn maze. As I was trying desperately to hold S above the port 0 john so nothing would touch her hiney, the pee started and somehow managed to find its way all over her pants. She was soaked. Frustrated, (I didn't tell you about the morning adventure), Aunt A, G, S and I left the farm and hurried to Old Navy to buy the first pair of pants I could find. I came out with two and we were back in 20 minutes. I changed S and we were on our way. We headed into the corn maze, or what was supposed to be a corn maze, and hoped to find our way out before dark. As it turned out, instead of corn stalks towering above our heads, we were surrounded by cat tails? We could see easily over the field but proceeded through for the kids. They had a good time running through the maze and I had secretly wished the stalks were higher to help make the adventure, more of an adventure. We all had fun though, and we were out within a half hour or so. The kids played and then we headed to the tractor to ride to the patch only to find out that the orchard and patch had closed for the night, UGH! The kids were highly disappointed but evnetually chose a few (huge) pumpkins that were sitting in the front of the farm. The blow was softened a bit by us telling them that we would take them all out for burgers.

All and all we had a great time and the excitement of the Fall and all its festivities has entered our household. Before the patch adventure, I had taken the kids out to Halloween Adventure to hunt for costumes. As soon as we entered the store, Miss S decided that she had to go to the bathroom. I informed her that she had just gone just 10 minutes prior and she had to hold it for a few minutes. Nothing struck the boys' fancy there so to Party City we headed. As soon as we entered there, Miss S insisted that her pee pee was coming. I begged the store clerk to let her use the bathroom, but to know avail. So off to Sears we walked. (It's hard to believe that the Christmas trees are up and decorated at Sears.) scary thought.

After the bladder relief, we headed back to the store, bought some scary ghoulie costumes (that the boys insisted on), then headed home. I still have my house only half decorated for Halloween. For all of you who are working full-time, how does one keep the house clean, decorated and kids happy?

Anyway, Enjoy the pictures from yesterday.

The Results

2008-10-16T21:34:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone who supported the http://www.katieeliselambert.org/ first BEEF N BEER fundraiser this past Saturday evening. It turned out to be a good time for everyone, (yes, this woman even danced) SHHH._.
We had many winners from the raffles and silent auction and I hope that if you're reading this, and if you were there, that you won something too. Unforutnately, I do not have pictures to post because my D^$N camera Stinks!
It's an inexpensive point N shoot which I feel like shooting right into the trash can. It cannot take photos indoors NO MATTER WHAT SETTING IT'S ON! I was able to salvage a few, but I need to re- look at them before I decide whether to post or not.
Thank you D, for taking the pics and video and I prayed (inbetween my dancing) sshhh that by some miracle they would turn out. BUt the camera just plain S&*%^! (Did I say that already?)
So what does a girl do? I've already begun hinting around to Big b that I really could use a decent camera and he could use it for his business as well. Every realtor needs a good camera. I even went so far as to tell him that I have a specific one in mind and would just LOve-Love-LOve it for Christmas....(hint hint) I promised him that I would gladly send the link as well and assured him that he would just LOve- Love- Love it as well.

In other life, YEAH PHILLIES! Next stop...World Series!

TICKETS

2008-10-10T22:45:00.000-04:00

Tickets are still available for the Katie Elise Lambert Foundation's Beef N Beer being held Saturday, October 11th. Please click on the beer on the right sidebar to learn more.

Hope to see you all there!

THANKS FOR SHARING!

2008-10-05T18:11:00.000-04:00

I want to thank my DH for so generously sharing the dreaded stomach bug with Little b and me. Little b came down with it on Thursday evening but seemed to get it out of his system by Saturday morning. Yesterday afternoon I began to feel those strange pangs in my stomach and I just knew something wasn't right. By midnight I had the bucket in my hands while sitting, you - know - where and boy, it wasn't a pretty thing. I thought I was dying. By some miracle the vomiting seemed to quiet down by early afternoon today but I've learned not to stray too far from the bathroom. Sorry for the explicit details. Needless to say the baskets have not been completed and the donations still need to be displayed. I was able to finish most of the raffle baskets yesterday morning before the bug made its appearance. A friend of mine who is expecting her referral from China next month, graciously donated a few hours of her time and we got a lot done. However, there is still so much to do. I pray that it all comes together by Saturday evening, tickets get sold, and everyone is healthy.

The pictures are from the playground yesterday before the bug hit. S and E had a nice time and the weather was beautiful.

Busy and more busy

2008-10-02T20:46:00.000-04:00

I know that it has been awhile since my last post. I apologize but I don't seem to have much time anymore.....I wonder why? This 40 hour work thing has taken up much of my time lately. How is one suppose to manage a household, kids, and working full time? I guesss it's not that bad but it certainly has curtailed my computer usage lately. (lack of updates)

The job is going well, and the commute has not been that bad. I've been trying to get into the office by 7:30 AM so I can be out of there and home by 4:30. So far it's been working nicely. The workload has been steadily increasing at the job and I have been watching my caseload grow. Just when you think you're catching up, a new pile of claims mysteriously arrive on top of your desk. I've been getting a little quicker doing the basic cases but still not as fast as the others. I understand it much better but I guess I will forever be slow. Today, just when my confidence was growing, I had to be trained on medical reviews. It'll take another two weeks for me to understand this but hopefully by then I will win the lottery. (just kidding)

The family is doing well. Big B has come down with a stomach bug and I pray that he doesn't share it with the rest of his beloved family. I came home today to find the windows all closed and the feeling that the germs were having a field day being stuck in the house. One thing that I truly do not like is having the windows closed when there is sickness in the house. His excuse was that it was cold outside.....you think he had a fever?

Besides Big B feeling sick, we have been stressing over the upcoming Beef N Beer. The baskets still need to be completed and the gift cards need to be written out. A couple of people have offered their time this weekend and I am deeply appreciative for that. I hope to have it all completed by Sunday evening but I think that is a long shot.
We seem to have a pretty good variety of gifts to raffle so I do not think that people will be disappointed. So if you haven't purchased your tickets yet, just call!

Sorry for the short post this evening, but hopefully this weekend I will be able to write more and post pictures.

And don't forget!!! Go PHILLIES!!!!

J

My Head Hurts

2008-09-26T23:53:00.000-04:00

So who knew that swinging a PHILLIES rally towel could take so much coordination and effort?
I found out tonight how little muscle mass I must have in those flabby things that I'm supposed to call arms. Not only am I left with sore arms, I realized that I wasn't swinging or twirling the towel the way most of the other fans were twirling theirs. Most fans had their towels going in tight little circles above their heads, their arms handling the exercise with ease. My rally towel twirled in large circles and would often wrap itself around my wrist. Nobody ELSES was wrapping...only MINE. Furthermore, as I was spinning my rally towel in large circles attempting to keep it from wrapping around my wrist, trying to maintain some composure, I was hit about 52 times in my right eye from Evan's rally towel and 38 times in my left from Bobby's towel spinning in a humongous circle. I hope the Phillies have taken out additional insurance for those injuries caused by us incompetent rally towel spinners.
Otherwise, using the rally towels was a good thing...there was a lot to cheer about as the Philles beat the Nationals. The magic number is now ONE!

Shay was a bit cranky and had trouble watching the game. I did take her to the Phanatic playground and we walked around awhile. She ate pizza, cotton candy and daddy bought the kids number one fingers. It was a good time except when those rally towels became weapons used by my kids. Yes, not only was I having trouble with getting clunked in the head with them, but each child discovered that they do make a great weapon and numerous times, mom the referee threatened to take them away...especially Shays. She loved hitting the boys with hers.

Enjoy the weekend everyone,
J

Another WEEK

2008-09-21T21:43:00.000-04:00

Another weekend has come and gone so quickly that it feels as if I just blinked and now it over.

I certainly can appreciate those two days off now that I am working a 40 hour week.

At the job I am finding it difficult trying to keep the law straight when doing these Medicare appeals. I can barely remember the terminology; determinations, redeterminations, apellants, beneficiaries, LCDs, NCDs, etc. Now I'm beginning to scare myself as I am realizing that I need to be applying these terms already and I 'm still trying to understand their meanings. The attorneys who were hired with me seem to have picked it up so fast and so well that I feel like a dummie next to them.

I hope that I begin to catch on soon or they will be letting me go before my training is even over.

We spent a somewhat relaxing weekend not doing much of anything. Mom Mom came over yesterday to help with raffle baskets, (thank you) and I spent the rest of the time catching up on cleaning. I am still trying to sell tickets to the BEEF N BEER so if anyone is interested, please jot me an email or just call. If anyone would like to help out with preparing baskets and silent auction items, please let me know as well.

Erin, I'm not sure if you saw my email but we would love to have handmade items from you if you had the time to make them. Don't worry if you cannot make them, I know how busy you are.

I am ending this short post with a huge

Go PHILLIES!!!! I just Got tickets for Friday night's game!!!

J

I made it!

2008-09-15T21:05:00.000-04:00

I made it through my first day at work! Thanks for all of the well wishes and prayers. Miss S, thank you for the psalm. I had trouble sleeping last night so was up bright and early this morning. I fiddled around for an hour and half then decided to head at about 7:30. Though my anxiety levels were through the roof I made it on the long journey without any problems. It took me 50 minutes to drive to work and 15 of those minutes were spent sitting on route 73 near my house.
There were about 8 others who also started today but only 4 of us as officers. Two new attorneys myself and another nurse who began last week. The day was spent trying to keep my eyes from blurring while staring at training module after training module on the computer. It was tedious work as Medicare seems to be loaded with more information than the Enclyclopedia Brittanica. Much of that information, I must admit, is pretty monotonous. I never thought that so many abbreviations existed for any one entity. Medicare has acronyms or an abbrieviation for EVERYTHING! They must hire someone just to think of new acronyms.
Besides being overwhelmed with the above, the day went smoothly. The 3 others in my office seem very nice and we seem to have a good mix of experience therefore when the time comes, we will be able to help each other out.
The drive home wasn't bad either as it took another 45 minutes.

S began her long day in pre-k today and Big B said she did great! She even took a nap there, something that is quite unheard of here at home. However, now I'm paying the price as she's been playing in her bed for an hour not being able to fall asleep.

I will attempt to post picture from her first day of school last week, yeah a little late but I'm having some difficulty with Blogger.

J

T MINUS AND COUNTING

2008-09-13T13:50:00.000-04:00

It's coming, faster than I had anticipated. Less than 48 hours left until the beginning of a new and hopefully wonderful adventure. The adventure?????
My new job! I will start work Monday morning at the leisurely hour of 9AM. What a difference from the ungodly hour of 7AM. I will still need to wake myself bright and early, probably around the same time as I would have awakened for my job as a floor nurse. The reason being is the amount of travel travel required to get there. I will probably need at least 45 minutes in the morning depending on the time I leave to drive along the PA turnpike....YIKES! Perhaps longer in inclement weather.
I am looking forward to this new opportunity with an open mind. It is an office position in a business environment, a welcome change. Big B and I have been working out details of the morning rush with the kids...he will be flying solo beginning Monday. We plan on having backpacks, packed and ready to go along with
clothes laid out the night before. Lunches Will still need to be packed in the mornings...I tend to think that if they were packed the night before they get soggy.
I may take one last practice drive out there tomorrow to make sure I won't get lost and end up in Harrisburg. Wish me luck.

On another note, S began her new pre-k class on Thursday. We dropped her off and 9 and picked her up at 11:30. The teacher said she did great and S told me she had fun. The next day, the same routine. As the the teacher was walking her outside I made sure to ask how she did. The teacher responded very well, except....there seems to be a problem that if there is an open door..S will walk out of it. The door between two classrooms was open and S took it upon herself to venture into the other room. As long as she doesn't venture outside we should be okay.
Monday morning Big B will drop her off at school where she will remain until he picks her back up at 3:00. I pray that she continues to do well, that she doesn't disrupt the class and that she is able to make friends. She tends to be a bit on the aggressive side which frightens other little ones away. We're working on her social skills at home and I have been reassured that the school will help in that area as well.
S also had her developmental evaluation from the Montgomery County IU. I wanted to make sure that she was on par with her age group developmentally and also to see if occupational therapy could see her for her arm. NADA! She doesn't qualify for any services....including speech. This is a child that spoke only Mandarin for 3 1/2 years and now English for just 14 months!

Although developmentally she is on target, she does lack in another area which concerns me. This is her attachment to me. From an outsider's perspective one may see a beautiful, happy preschooler who tends to be a bit bossy. As a mom, I see a little girl who has not fully bonded to her mommy. She cringes at the first sign of a hug from me and desperately tries to push herself off my body if I pull her close. I've tried to rock her to help with attaching but for the most part wants nothing to do with it unless I bribe her with a chocolate milk.
I've noticed this for sometime now and it seems to have gotten worse.
I've been in touch with an attachment therapist and I'm hoping to be able bring S to see her.
I can understand where S is coming from and I do try to put myself in her place. Granted she is happy, playful and growing beautfully but with all due respect, I was the mean person who carried her away from her caregivers in China as she kicked, screamed and punched. That had to have had some effect on her whether in her subconscious mind or not. Those first few days were extremely traumatic for her and if your early life experiences provide a baseline for one's personality, growth and behaviour than this one could be a doozy.
I just hope one day that she will give a genuine hug freely to me without having to be begged or bribed. I love her and I know one day she will love me too.

Thank you for reading,
J

2008-09-08T08:27:00.001-04:00

The foundation spent a busy weekend fighting to raise awareness in our local area. We spent yesterday at the Fairless Hills Babies R Us educating those shoppers who braved tropical storm Hanna to shop at Babies R US. We spent this afternoon and evening speaking to parents, grandparents, even great grandparents about our mission to protect the innocent from unsecured furniture. There was a great turnout at The Rockledge Night Out today and most of those who visited our booth knew our story and had heard of our mission. We were happy to be able to hand out tethering kits from Hangman products to those whose furniture needed to be secured. B and E each had a good time with their friends walking the Pike. E did such a fantastic job watching his little sister that I promised him a Bakugan tomorrow. B continued helping out with the Foundation by helping Big B yesterday and today setting up and taking down of our booth. After tropical storm Hanna had passed and the rain had quit for the night as I was letting the dogs out in the back I noticed a big spider working diligently spinning a web. Now, don't get me wrong, I do despise the critters when I find one in the house, however I really do appreciate the beauty of web when it is found outside. We are now entering spider season as Fall tries to make its way into our area. With Fall will come the spectacular webs found anywhere from your car windows to a surrounding bush, attached from a tree branch to your front door, (so that you walk thru it in the morning,) or hanging from your porch gutters. The picture of the web was found outside our kitchen door Saturday evening and it is still there now. E and I tried to capture its beauty but the stinking camera does not do it justice. The web is beautiful...the spider..well it's still a creepy, crawly critter that I hope does not find its way into my home. Enjoy the pictures. J

The FOUNDATION

2008-09-04T20:52:00.001-04:00

The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation, http://www.katieeliselambert.org, will be participating in the BABIES R US safety event this coming Saturday at their Fairless Hills, PA store. Also, on Sunday evening we will take part in the ROCKLEDGE NIGHT OUT from 6PM to 8PM. Come stop by our booth at either event and learn how you can help prevent furniture tip-over. In addition, we will be handing out anti-tip kits, courtesy of HANGMAN Products. Please visit their website at http://www.hangmanproducts.com/. Many thanks to Jim G from Hangman for his kind and generous donation of anti-tip kits to our Foundation. Many many people have asked us where they can purchase anti-tip kits, brackets or tethering devices for their furniture. We are so grateful to be able to hand these kits out to those parents and caregivers about to secure their furniture so that one life may be saved. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KQkeMOZlk0.

Yesterday the boys started back to school at Mckinley Elementary. Both have decided that they like their teachers...so far and have not really complained too much about anything. ( Need to give it time though.)
S will begin a different preschool next Thursday from 9 - 1130AM to help with her transitioning.
She will attend both Thursday and Fri of next week and then begin a full week of 9 to 3 whil I begin my new job. The job will be quite different than what I am used to but I am looking forward to the challenge of office transitioning and relief from floor nursing. The two major drawbacks which I am concerned about is the long drive out to K of P each day and then the full time work. It's been quite a number of years. maybe 16 or 17, since the last time I worked a 40 hour job which was prior to my nursing career. It will be quite a change and challenge for our family but I am trying to fill myself with positive thoughts.
There will be little time for me to prepare for our Beef N Beer this coming October so if anyone would like to lend a helping hand creating attractive gift baskets, please let me know.

I would like to end my post this evening with my silly little S dancing prior to bed. I couldn't resist as she was so funny imitating the dancers on Caillou.
Enjoy.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME.....

2008-09-02T22:16:00.001-04:00

Yes, it's almost here, it has just about arrived. SCHOOL STARTS IN ABOUT 10 HOURS! Yippee!. Okay, I've calmed down a bit. I just wanted to make sure everyone was aware that SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!
We spend the last day of summer vacation enjoying an afternoon at http://www.adventureaquarium.com/. We walked through the shark tank and watched the sharks swim above and around us. We caught glimpses of the large teeth that so many sharks are famous for and the stingers on stingrays which can kill. We had a chance to pet starfish, sea cucumbers?? and jellyfish. It was pretty exciting for both the kids and myself. We sat through the 4D SpongeBob show and ducked out of the way of flying pickles along with getting sprayed with water. It was all fun. I don't quite think S knew what was happening but I'm pretty confident that she enjoyed it well.
My favorite part of the aquarium have to be those graceful hippos. Being such large animals one would think that they're footing would actually be much heavier. Perhaps out of water it is. But swimming, the hippos are graceful creatures appearing actually happy. They were so cute and I wish I could have watched them longer.

So that's it. Summer is drawing to a close and a hint of sadness is creeping in. Soon the leaves will accept their pushes from the trees and begin their descent to the earth while covering the ground with their magnificent colors. It shouldn't be long now...Cool nights, crisp days, Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving turkeys and Christmas shopping. YIKES! Where does the time go?
B will be big man at the school as he enters the 6Th grade while E enters 4Th. My boys are growing so fast..turning into little men. I can remember when B entered Kindergarten with Mrs. M at McKinley. It's hard to believe that this will be his final year at the elementary school.

Also, another ending to mention as well. After 9 years I have decided to resign from HRH.
I am accepting the fact that I will have this pain forever. Even though the doctors cannot find what's causing it I can help prevent it by not standing for long periods of time. Therefore, I needed to give up staff nursing.
I believe that when one door closes another one opens. I have been offered another position working in s business environment using my nursing background. What can be better than that? I will keep you posted on my journey to find a right childcare for S.

Until the next time,
J

BEEF 'N' BEER - OCTOBER 11TH!

2008-08-26T14:00:00.000-04:00

If you live in the area, keep the date open. We will be holding our first Beef 'N'Beer to benefit The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation http://www.katieeliselambert.org/ for child safety at the Rockledge Fire Hall on October 11th. Come enjoy a night of dancing, auctions, and food and help raise awareness of furniture tip-over. All proceeds will help continue our mission of keeping children safe from unsecured furniture by allowing the Foundation to provide tethers free of charge, brochures and participating in safety fairs.
Tickets are $25.00 and can be purchased by contacting me, J!
CLICK ON THE MONARCH TO THE RIGHT FOR MORE INFO!

Thanks,
J

Friends and Updates

2008-08-24T20:39:00.000-04:00

Today we had a really nice visit from our dear friends R and D. We've known R and D for many years and now also share the bond of international adoption. They met their beautiful daughter M, back in November when they traveled to
China. She's full of spunk, knows what she wants and is another precious example of the incredible joy in which adoption brings. She brings true happiness to two very special people. Watching our daughters together is a moment to be treasured.
Once again I feel the need to say how grateful and how lucky I am to have been given the chance to adopt S. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's my daughter.
I posted several pictures from today which will give you a chance to see beautiful M and beautiful S. Two vastly different personalities yet both sharing the deepest of bonds.
Enjoy.

A BIRTHDAY!

2008-08-17T21:28:00.000-04:00

Today was Big B's birthday...the big birthday number 4.... We spent a quiet day...well he spent it working most of the afternoon. SIL A came over as well as mom mom. Each brought their dog so we had 4 dogs here each with his or her own personality. (I guess you know where this could be going.) Everyone was well-behaved for most of the visit both the kids and the dogs. Buddy, JD, Eddie and Meadow seemed to all get along wonderfully even falling asleep under the dining room table during dinner.
It was afterwards that the fun started during the time I was trying to separate them for feeding. Eddie and JD together because they are the ones who get along the best while Buds and Meadow were outside. As I was trying to bring Buddy in and make the others go out something happened and before we knew it Buddy was on top of Meadow in an outright brawl. JD and Eddie were trying to get involved as well but I was able to drag them out while making sure my kids were out of danger. "A" sprung to her feet and was able to separate the dogs..as dangerous as it was. Buddy is an 85 pound yellow lab and Meadow is a sheltie type maybe half his size. We got all dogs outside except for Meadow who now was favoring one of her paws. She was shaken up but was okay. It was soon after the fight that the small get together ended.
I have a soft spot in my heart for dogs. They can be cute, gentle, loyal and a constant companion. However, dogs are dogs. They have an instinctive nature that makes them an animal to respect. Yes, humans need to be their alpha in all respects. We can love them and cuddle them but children should be taught to respect the dog and learn the proper ways to deal with them.
This fight had nothing to do with our kids...but it had everything to do with food and the alpha had not been established yet between the four of them. It's always scary to be near a dog fight.

Now back to the birthday. It turned out to be a very nice visit and I hope Big B enjoyed the time that he was home.

I also just wanted to post some pictures of S that I took tonight right before she went to bed. She is so pretty and I wanted to capture her beauty. I'm so lucky to be her mom.

Letter to Pediatricans

2008-08-12T22:19:00.000-04:00

It is with heavy heart that I tell you that there has been another death from furniture tip-over. My husband and I have learned about a 3 year old little girl whose precious life was lost as the result of her dresser tipping back in April of this year. My heart aches for her parents as there is no greater pain felt than that of the loss of one's child.Each time that I learn about another death I realize that our job is not nearly completed. We have not warned nearly enough people that furniture can kill.Although we try our best to raise awareness of furniture tip-over, I believe we need the help of others to accomplish our mission.
One group of people who I believe should be educating the public are the pediatricans that we entrust our most precious treasures. We look to our doctors for guidance, for help and to maintain the health of our children...who better than to help educate parents than our pediatricians? Several months ago I searched the American Academy of Pediatrics' website to find their information on furniture tip-over. After looking and searching, I realized that there just was not any information on furniture tip-over there. I thought back to the many times that I have taken my children for doctor's visits, both routine and non-routine and realized that prior to Katie'[s death, bolting my furniture was never even mentioned. Perhaps, just perhaps if one of our doctors had mentioned to me that my furniture should be anchored to the wall, just maybe my Katie would still be with me. So I decided to email one of the contacts at the AAP. I received no respone. So, I looked onto the website again and emailed several contacts our story and asked about adding furniture tip-over to their website. Once again I received no response. So this time, I revised my letter and sent it certified mail to Washington D.C. and to another location of the American Academy of Pediatrics. It was sent a little over a week ago. I am presently waiting to hear if they would respond. I don't want to appear pesty but if it means that one life could be saved than I will do it. The following is a copy of the letter sent on what would have been my Katie's 7th birthday. She would have been getting ready to enter the 2nd grade this September.

July 30, 2008

Dear American Academy of Pediatrics,I am writing to you as not only a concerned parent but also one who has learned firsthand the devastation of losing a child. On January 21, 2005 my 3 year old daughter, Katie, was killed after a large, unsecured wardrobe cabinet tipped and fell on top of her, crushing her little body. Since her death my husband and I have worked very hard attempting to warn parents and caregivers of the hidden hazards of unsecured furniture.We founded the Katie Elise Lambert Foundation, a 501 (3) (c) organization, whose mission is to raise awareness of this preventable danger.According to the CPSC, between 8,000 to 10,000 people are injured yearly as the result of falling furniture. Between the years 2000 and 2005, 101 deaths have been attributed to furniture tip-over and 80% of those deaths were to children. I feel very strongly that if parents and caregivers were aware of this danger, precautions could be taken, and that we may begin to see a decline in the number of deaths associated with it. It is truly heartbreaking to learn of another innocent child’s life cut short due to the lack of awareness of the danger of TV/furniture tip-over. As the mother of 3 children I have found myself visiting our pediatrician’s office several times each year with each child, not only for unexpected illnesses but also for routine check-ups. At each routine check-up I have been given the appropriate age-related TIPP sheet for the particular child being cared for at that visit. I have answered the routine questions posed by the doctor, “do we have smoke detectors in the house, do we use car seats, do the children wear bicycle helmets, etc?”However, prior to my daughter’s death, I had never been informed or asked, “Is your furniture/TV secured to the wall?” I have never seen furniture tip-over mentioned on one of your TIPP sheets, unless I have missed it, nor have I read about it on the AAP website. I am a firm believer that education is the key to our children’s safety. I know from experience that if I had been aware that furniture could tip, my daughter may still be with me. Please take into consideration adding furniture tip-over as an issue to be discussed during well-child visits from baby age throughout toddler and preschool years up to and including the late elementary school ages. Furniture tip-over is now considered one of the top five hazards for children listed by the Consumer Product Safety Commission. We can help prevent this type of tragedy.I believe that The Academy of Pediatrics can play an important role in helping to decrease the number of deaths and injuries associated with TV/furniture tip-over. Remember, education is the key in helping to protect our children.

I thank you for your time,
Judy Lambert
Katie Elise Lambert Foundation
www.katieeliselambert.org
Posted by Judy at 2:31 PM

VACATION and NO INTERNET!

2008-08-10T07:18:00.000-04:00

I apologize so much for not keeping up with the blog for the past week. However, I had every intention of blogging while away for vacation using my laptop but my laptop had other plans...again. On the 2ND we took our two labs, Buddy and JD to the new pet hotel in Petsmart in Willow Grove to begin their one week of vacation. Poor things, I always feel so sad leaving my dogs anywhere and I feel terrible looking at the sad faces looking back at me wondering why...why? Dogs really don't understand that their owners will be back for them. All they probably are thinking is that "I've been left here and my humans don't love me anymore."
After many hugs we left our dogs and went home to pack the van and begin our week away. We headed to LBI, New Jersey and stayed very close to the ocean. The kids had a great time. The boys spent much of their time in the ocean riding the waves and staying clear of the jellyfish. S was a bit cautious of the ocean when she first saw it, and clung to my leg for the first several minutes of our encounter with it last Saturday. Soon I had her looking at seagulls and playing in the sand. I tried to get her to collect shells but she really had little interest in them. She would show me pieces of shells so I don't think she had quite grasped the idea of seashells just yet. We also watched a thunderstorm come rolling in as we were playing on the beach and when it got a bit too close, we headed back for the house. The lightening was beautiful as it lit up the entire night sky.
Storms always are better down at the shore...
I tried to blog several times but connection was choppy at best the first day or two and them completed lost the rest of the week. Big B went to the Internet cafe there to catch up on some work and I just looked with sadness at my laptop which was broken ...again.
We spent the next few days at the beach...until S got sick. She kept saying she was cold on Tuesday evening and I just assumed it was due to the ocean breeze. She was up several times that night, feeling very warm and the next day I went out to buy a thermometer. Her temp was 101.4 and she was complaining of a sore throat. Mom mom came down to visit that day, S slept on the beach and we took it easy the next couple of days. Big B took the boys Fluke fishing on Thursday while S and I drove to Kohl's to look for a new bathing suit for me. She still has been running a low grade fever but plays like she's not even sick.
Yesterday, our vacation came to a close too rapidly for my liking. None of us wanted to come back home and Big B and I could feel our stress levels rise as soon as we crossed the Tacony Palmyra Bridge into Philly. We assured the boys that if we could do it again, we would rent again next year.
Even though the vacation ended too soon, it is somewhat good to be back in our home not having to worry about things getting broken or the kids making too much noise. I slept well last night and I hear S waking as I type.
I hope you enjoy the pictures from our vacation and I promise to blog again soon.
Until the next time,
J

Happy Birthday Katie!

2008-07-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

Summer 2004. My beautiful baby girl.

Christmas 2004

Christmas 2004. My Katie's last Christmas.

The following is a letter that I had written on what would have been my Katie's 4th birthday. Today.....she would have turned 7 years old. When reading the letter, my Katie was gone for just a few months. Today...3 1/2 years. I often wonder what she would have been doing if she were still with me...would she still be a tomboy or would she have turned to barbies and babies? Would she have liked to keep her hair long and would she be bugging her mommy to get her ears pierced ...what would she like to eat, or watch on TV....could she ride her bike, who would have been her friends.....Would she enjoy shopping with her mommy or want to play with frogs with her brothers.... What would she look like? Would she allow her mommy to still try to brush her hair...what would she say after I would kiss her goodnight....
These little things that many of us take for granted with our children....I will never know. my daughter died 3 1/2 years ago and the ache in my heart reminds me of what could have been..each and every moment of my life. I miss my baby and I hate that she is not here for us to sing Happy Birthday to her today. Instead, her brothers, sister and parents with sing in honor of her life tonight, remembering how special those short 3 1/2 years with her were. We miss you Katie. Fly free with the butterflies baby.

Letter written in 2005 on Katie's 4th birthday.

Itwas approximately 4 years and 7 months ago that I was given the most wonderful new that a woman could be given. That news…was that I was going to become a mother, a mommy, a mom, for the 3rd time. I remember feeling so happy, elated, so incredibly blessed to be carrying this little miracle inside of me.
For the next 7 months, I therefore tried to eat the right foods, play the right music for my growing baby, read the right stories and think relaxing thoughts---all for the good of my baby. I vividly remember Bob and I discussing quite frequently whether or not to have the sex of our baby disclosed to us. After our ultrasounds, we even asked my physician to write the sex on a piece of paper. I then stuck that folded piece of white paper deep inside my wallet – never to peek at the mysterious secret until months after my baby’s birth. Yes, it was a beautiful, busy and mysterious time.

And so the months of pregnancy crept by as I eagerly anticipated the arrival of my 3rd little miracle. We prepared a neutral-primary colored nursery with sponge-paintings of red, blue and yellow. Bob rebuilt our 2nd crib; I bought new sheets and baby blankets that fit the crib perfectly. And before we knew it, July 2001 rolled in and my 9 months of pregnancy were just about completed. I recall my physician asking me to choose a date for the planned cesarean section. I thought and I thought of which date may be good for a birthday and finally chose July 30th. Not exactly sure why I chose that date, but I did. And so our preparations were coming to a close. Diapers were bought, my suitcase was packed and we told our 2 little boys, Bobby and Evan that mommy was going to the hospital and soon they would be the proud big brothers to either a baby brother or baby sister.

I remember lying in the O.R. thinking, “wow, this is it!” The O.R> was really crowded that day. There were many nursing students present, several med, students, along with the normal nurses, anesthesiologist, nurse anesthetists, and my regular physician. Several of those present asked if we knew the sex of our baby and we responded proudly, “no.” We had wanted to be surprised. We proceeded to inform everyone that we had 2 little boys at home waiting for us and that whatever sex God gave to us, we would be happy---Please just let our baby be healthy.

Within a few minutes the doctors were busy doing their doctor thing, when before I knew it…a tiny cry emerged from the direction of my belly and I breathed an enormous sign of relief. Within a moment someone shouted, “it’s a girl!” A low roar then erupted from the delivery O.R> room. The joy, which emanated from each person witnessing this miracle of birth, was overwhelming. God had sent to us a baby girl! – A special, special baby girl. She had dark, brown hair and big brown eyes. We felt that she had completed our family. And our 3rd little miracle’s name? We chose Katie Elise….just because we liked it.

And so my baby girl was born. My child, one of life’s greatest loves, my daughter. I spent the next 3 ½ years getting to k now my daughter better not realizing what life events were to unfold. I watched in awe as this tiny, helpless infant grew into an independent one-of-a-kind toddler and then into a shy, beautiful preschooler. Her smile still radiates in my memory, her laughter echoes in my dreams. I am so proud to have spent 3 ½ years with my precious daughter. The joy that Kati gave to me from her birth until the present is immeasurable. NO words can describe the heartache which I feel each and everyday that she is not with me on this earth. The pain…I wish on no one.

My daughter has touched more lives in her 3 ½ short years than most of us will touch in a lifetime. I am so proud of you, my Katie. Mommy misses you and I wish you a happy 4th birthday. Fly free with the butterflies my angel! I love you!

Just Another Day....

2008-07-29T21:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning we awakened to a visitor in our pool. As Big B was emptying out the filter baskets something was darting very quickly trying to avoid his fingers. He sensed it could be something that the boys would like and called to them eagerly to come see what might be lurking and darting in the water-filled basket. As we looked closer we noticed...a frog! Soon the frog escaped the basket and was swimming around our pool like a pro. Big B quickly grabbed the net and scooped the critter out of the big pool and just stood there wondering what to do with it next. I remembered that S's little pool was still filled from the previous day and suggested we out Froggy in there away from the chlorine until we figured out what to do with it. So into the little pool it went along with S's shovels, toys and watering cans. As the day progressed as the boys became attached to their buddy I knew taking him to the park across the street was pretty much not the way it was going to go. I soon found myself at Petsmart buying an aquarium to house the now name Murky along with a water neutralizer or whatever it was called. We found old gravel that we had left over from our crabs and filled the aquarium with gravel and the treated water. After several hours the boys thought that Murky looked hungry. HMMM.
Okay, what do frogs eat? I guess flies. So, Big B, Little B, E, S and myself along with the Dollar Store Butterfly catcher spent some quality time in our backyard over unscooped doggie poo attempting to catch a fly. Let me tell you...what joy!
After a long time a fly was caught...placed into the aquarium only to escape later because the stupid aquarium didn't come with a screen. We hadn't realized it until after we were home and Froggy, oops I mean Murky began hopping and nearly hopped out of the container.
Big B found himself with 10 minutes to spare before closing, at the Petsmart again buying Frog food last night.
I forgot to tell you that we were told by the Petsmart crew that Murky would be dead this morning after his ingestion of the pool water. We were prepared to see a floating frog instead of this smiling amphibian.
Again today, I found myself at Petsmart buying new gravel....pebbles and a couple of lily pads.
His water was changed tonight and he looks happy and content...although Big B thinks he needs a girl Froggy. Yea right!
So I'm including some pics of our new addition...hope you enjoy.

On another note, S's ear seems to be doing well. SIL A peeked last evening and thought it was just old wax. We'll continue the drops and follow up with MD Friday.

As the kids were swimming the past couple of days we had been smelling this God awful smell. We thought it could be a gas odor but we weren't quite sure. So I ended up calling PECO who were out in a very short time. Before I knew it they were drilling outside trying to find the leak that they had detected out front. We had PECO trucks, Verizon trucks, AQUA trucks all outside our home. GREAT! Now my front lawn and driveway were going to be dug up. After several hours we were informed that no leak was detected but that another crew would be out tomorrow to double check. Also....the stench????? something dead under a neighbor's shed. Double great! It's unreachable, not that anyone would want to reach it. So I guess we need to live with the stench until the carcass of whatever critter disappears....yuck!

Well, gotta run for now. Even though my life has been wonderfully busy lately tomorrow's date weighs heavily on my mind. Tomorrow is Katie's birthday.

Don't forget to hug your children,
J

WHAT?

2008-07-25T21:26:00.000-04:00

S has been complaining for the past few days about her left ear being sore. The boys have both had swimmer's ear so I have been assuming she had it as well. I have not allowed her in the pool since Tuesday but she has still been saying she has a boo boo ear. So today I took her to the pediatrician's office for a quick check. Well, the doctor gave a look and lo and behold....says there is something in her ear...something green. YIKES! We both asked S if she stuck anything in her ear and she became upset, said no and proceeded to tall us that "Bobby did it." When I questioned her a bit further she went on to say that Bobby put Barney in her ear. HMMM, okay.
We now are in a wait - and - see mode. We have ear drops and need to go back to the doctor's next Friday. (A whole week) Thank goodness for sister - in - laws. Big B's sister is a pediatric nurse practitioner who specialty is Ears, Noses and Throats! She will recheck S's ear in a few days and give me her opinion as well.
What the heck could be in S's ear? After we had returned home, S told me that there was a fan in there and my bed.
Never a dull moment.

J

ANOTHER BUTTERFLY STORY

2008-07-20T17:11:00.000-04:00

Shortly after Katie died, we moved our family into another home not too far from where we had been living. We had been searching for a long time for a larger, more comfortable home in which to raise our 3 children. We found a wonderful house in the Fall of 2004 and on January 13, 2005 the house became ours. 8 days later my beautiful little girl was killed in that #$@$ house...prior to us ever having moved into to it. To check out the story, please visit http://www.usa.safekids.org/tier3_cd.cfm?content_item_id=20930&folder_id=301.

After her death I made the decision to not move into that house. I could not see ourselves there with those horrible memories forever etched in our minds.Therefore, we put that place on the market and began searching for another home. (The house that we had been living in had already been sold. )

We found this house within a month after Katie's death...we had no choice and we moved into it in April of 2005.

As I tried to maintain some sort of normalcy for my two boys we began to try to make this house a home. During that time the depression and grief was so strong that it took every ounce of strength for me to get out of my bed each morning. It was so terribly hard and many times I had even thought about giving up. But that would have been the easy way out. Therefore, I visited the cemetery each and everyday, crying, praying, leaving flowers and taping butterfly stickers to the wall which held my baby's ashes. All the while looking for some sort of sign that...she was okay...

I have written in the past about signs and how special they can be. I have seen upside-down rainbows, heard Thomas the Train songs and listened to my dog, JD whimper and bark and I knew he felt her presence.

That summer, the summer of 2005 we held a butterfly release on what would have been Katie's 4th birthday. Several dozen of us released beautiful Monarch butterflies in celebration of my daughter's life. Her short life touched many, many people. To see it, click http://katieeliselambert.org/show/video.html

For some reason though, each time a member of our family has spotted a yellow swallowtail butterfly...we feel very strongly that it is our Katie stopping by let us know she's okay. The yellow butterfly has grown to hold a significant spot in each of our hearts.

One night in 2005 I returned home from work about 7:45 in the evening with a storm rapidly approaching. During the day I had spoken to my boys and to my husband on the phone several times..each time one of them would describe the yellow butterfly sitting outside our front window ledge facing in. I did not think much about it...but when I arrived home they anxiously showed me this beautiful butterfly seated outside our home....looking inside. We thought for sure that it would soon fly away as night was approaching as well as a thunderstorm. It didn't. We watched the lightening illuminate its wings and couldn't help to wonder why it just didn't fly away. I prayed that it was okay and began to think that Katie was here with us...in the form of a butterfly. We went to sleep wondering about that little butterfly and how it would ever survive a night of summer storms.

Morning arrived and we got up in our usual manner. I walked over to the front window and my God that yellow butterfly was still there. By this time we thought for sure that one of its wings had been broken and it was there because it couldn't fly. We watched for some time and my heart was hurting for this tiny insect outside my window. So Big B, Little B and E went out so inspect the butterfly to see what they could do to help it. As they approached very closely...the yellow butterfly spread its magnificent wings and flew to daddy, Little b and finally E..landing momentarily on each...then flying away. That yellow butterfly stayed almost an entire day sitting on that ledge, facing in, enduring storms before greeting each of my boys, and husband before disappearing. Since that time, the Yellow butterfly has held special meaning for all of us. It gives us all great joy to see one as we feel Katie's presence strongly through them. How wonderful to see one!

As we sat by the pool this afternoon, our yellow butterfly fluttered poolside. I called to the boys and they walked to the far side of the pool. The little yellow butterfly sat on the ground very still. As the boys approached, this little beauty began to flutter between the boys' legs. We watched for several minutes as it flew by our shoulders, sat on the ground and generally stayed within a couple of feet of all of us. After several minutes, Little B went back into the house and E, S and myself remained outside. The little butterfly remained by our sides for about 10 minutes. She would fly around, back and forth from one side of the pool to the other,then land on the grass near E, or under our porch but continued within our reach. It wasn't long before E had to run inside....and it was then that I saw my yellow friend flutter away. E came back outside and began looking for it again. I told him the direction it flew and within seconds he spotted..another yellow butterfly dangling just above where the first one was fluttering about. I don't think it could have been the same one but who knows....????? Maybe Katie does.
I found myself fighting back the tears today watching my little friend. Once again the grief made an unexpected visit. When you least expect it the overwhelming sadness can encompass your whole being. It is those times that I find myself for extremely, fleeting moments, not believing that it has actually happened. Then the cruel, harsh realty resurfaces.
Grieving is a difficult, lifelong road that must be traveled forever. On it are bumps, twists, turns, curves and major potholes. The road is long but my faith is strong.

Until the next time,
J

SPRINKLER FUN

2008-07-17T21:21:00.000-04:00

Just a short post tonight. Last evening I had decided to sit out front by Katie's garden. Our house sits up on a small grassy hill and Big B has several pretty gardens surrounding it. Many of the flowers have disappeared courtesy of the large amount of bunnies in the neighborhood. But who could get angry with THUMPER? He even had stopped at Lowes last week and discovered their summer flowers were 10 cents a piece. Who could resist? So he purchased many more flowers, planted them and then those cute little bunnies proceeded to eat all of those colorful petals.

Anyway, Big B had the sprinkler running and the kids decided to join me, ( as they always do) outside. It wasn't long before they were running through the water laughing, playing and completely soaked. S was a bit cautious at first but within a few minutes she became the wildest of the three.

On another note, S had her staples removed...in the E.R. It wasn't that bad as our favorite nurse, Sue was working and we were in and out in less than an hour.

Hope you all enjoy the pictures.

Until the next time,

LIttle b's 11th Birthday

2008-07-13T17:37:00.001-04:00

I'm back with pictures and everything! I am very excited that after a short trip to Staples, I am now able to download pictures to my buddy #2....my laptop. Buddy #1 is my big, goofy, yellow lab...named of course, Buddy.

On Friday we celebrated little b's 11th birthday. All day long he kept asking me if he were really 11 years old. He loved hearing that he actually came into this world at 4:19PM, crying, screaming and not wanting to be bothered by all of those people in that cold, bright room. He was born by C-section as were two of my other 3 children.What made little b's grand entrance so different was that when the doctor made his incision, little b was crying his little heart out before he was even removed from my uterus. The doctor even was surprised at his set of vocal cords. Needless to say little b's personality has changed little. He remains demanding, loud and stubborn...resistant to change. Even so...he is still my little b...even though he weighs more and his taller than me.

Back to his birthday though. We took 3 of his friends to the PHILLIES game for a fantastic extra inning game with fireworks to boot. There were 10 of us going, mom mom, Big B's sister, A, the 3 boys, S , E and myself. We took 2 cars. Big B had the 5 boys in his Jeep while us girls drove down in my van. As we were driving down Broad Street not too far from Temple U....Big B calls my cell and states that he has a flat tire UGH! Not to fear. The 5 boys then joined A, S and myself in my 7 passenger van. Mom mom went to wait for AAA to come and fix the Jeep. Yes, 8 of us sitting in a 7 seat van. I now realize that I don't fit between the two seats in the middle row of the van...even sitting on the floor. My buttinski got squashed but it was okay because everyone else was seated properly using a seat belt. We finally made it to Citizens Bank Park, registered Little b's birthday and walked a very long time to our seats in the nosebleed oops I mean upper level section. We all had a great time, especially me after I tasted the first sip of that cold, crisp Coors Light which was needed badly by that point.

The Phillies ended up winning in extra innings and the fireworks were awesome. S was so tired by that time...nearly midnight, that she actually fell sound asleep during the show. I didn't think it was humanly possible for someone to be able to sleep through a very loud firework display but I was wrong.

The pictures posted do not do the fireworks any justice. They were spectacular as usual and my stinking camera did not capture the true beauty of the display.

To describe some of the pictures in my post....

I had mentioned in my previous post that my beloved KIRBY had been broken and repaired. I had taken pictures of two of my favorites this week, 1 of course is S and the other favorite is my vacuum. I missed my Kirby and I'm glad it's back in my arms.

There is another picture posted of E with a ladybug. He asked me to take a picture of it so...I did.

The family picture was taken by our social worker for our 1 year update. The picture and every other family picture taken will forever remain bittersweet for me. I feel truly blessed that God has given me the chance to be a mom again with S. But as I look closely at that picture I realize that there is one huge part of our family missing. My precious Katie. She is still my first daughter and many times it hurts that she is not here physically to share in our joy and to play with her little sister. There are still many times I wonder why life had to throw me this particular hand at cards. I sometimes still question "why" but quickly dismiss it as I would rather not bring those feelings of grief back to the surface. I am presently reading When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner. I was given the book to read within a month or two after Katie's death but I have no recollection of what I read. I am now rereading it in the hopes to settle my sometimes questioning mind. But that could be a whole other post.

For now, I must close. I hope everyone enjoys the pictures and I relaly enjoy reading everyone's comments.

Until the next time,

IT CRASHED

2008-07-09T20:54:00.000-04:00

Many of my blogs have been written at night, lying in my bed with my laptop on my lap, relaxing after the kids were asleep or at least falling asleep. Sometime last week I began to notice that my computer was working much slower than usual. We thought it was our fairly new printer being hooked up to it so B disconnected it from my laptop. It began to work a little bit faster for a day or two and I thought my troubles were over. On Saturday the motor, (do computers have motors) began to make a really funky sound. When B heard it he claimed that it sounded as if my hard drive was being eaten by a virus. YIKES! By Sunday it no longer worked. Big B spent hours on Saturday trying to save the computer and my sanity. By Saturday night it was dead. My poor computer has been at the shop since Monday morning and I am hoping and keeping fingers and toes crossed that it can be saved. I am really missing my buddy. Even though I still have B's computer, it isn't the same. In order to blog tonight, I need to sit in the office with boys interrupting me and a little S not wanting to sleep. I now hear her opening her bedroom door for the umpteenth time after I first put her to bed. I can't get the same concentration going as compared to when I am sitting in my room.
Besides the computer crashing, my favorite vacuum cleaner began making peculiar noises too Thursday. This is my good ole KIRBY and needless to say I was pretty dissappointed in those loud noises. When Monday rolled around I had to bring my trusted KIRBY to the shop to be repaired. I had to drag my old vacuum out to attempt to rid my downstairs of the tremendous amount of BUDDY fur covering my floors and sofas. After vacuuming with my old Simplicity, the dog fur was pretty much still there. Thank goodness for small favors and my Kirby was repaired today.
KIRBY has had a complete tune up, new HUB CAPS????, a new light and new plug installed. I picked it up this afternoon and vacuumed my downstairs as soon as I got home. Boy, I missed my KIRBY. It may be heavy, it may have been expensive, but nothing has the power that it does. ( Except maybe a Dyson?)

Onto some S news. B had tickets to the Phillies game on Sunday afternoon. So he decided to take little b to the game. While they were gone I had planned to take E and S to the movies to see Wall-E. We were just about ready to go when yours truly had to run upstairs one last time. E and S had been playing something, running and laughing. Moments later I heard a funny noise and E asking S if she were okay? I heard no response. I ran downstairs and saw S looking stunned sitting on the couch. E told me that she fell and hit her head on one of our end tables. Upon closer inspection of her head, I saw an open gash which looked like stitches were needed to close it. Within a couple of minutes we were on our way to the hospital. S had two great nurses caring for her, Sue and Thea and I knew she was in great hands. She was such a trooper during the entire ordeal. Not a tear was shed which may actually be a red flag. Those of you who have adopted or are getting ready to adopt will understand why. I have been asking her if her boo boo head hurts or did hurt and she tells me, "a little bit." If it were me, I would have cried and cried hard.
She now has 6 staples in her head and I don't think she will be playing karate with E anymore.

I am sorry but I am unable to post pictures. Hopefully my laptop will be saved and I can get back to my picture posting soon.

Hope everyone is well.

Until the next time,
J

REUNION WEEKEND

2008-07-04T06:54:00.001-04:00

Our Friends

Last weekend we celebrated our one year anniversary of Family Day with two families that we had met while in China. We had a wonderful time catching up and watching how the girls have grown. I just hope that we don't have to wait another 6 months or year to get together again with our friends. They are both wonderful and so much fun and we have shared so much together t during our travels to China.

I am going to attempt to post a few pictures that M had sent. M and M's (LOL) camera is FAR superior than ours and takes much, much better pictures. Thanks you M and M for sending the pictures via Shutterfly. Yes, I am a member!

Enjoy the pictures!

OUR MIRACLE

2008-06-30T21:41:00.000-04:00

One year ago today we held our precious daughter S, in our arms for the very first time. Granted it wasn't love at first sight....for either of us...but it was the beginning of a new and wonderful life for our family.

Big B, Little b, E and myself arrived approximately 12 midnight to the White Rose Hotel in Wuhan, Hubei, China. After many, many hours of travel, flights delays due to storms and lost luggage, our weary group of adoptive families arrived to begin the journey of a lifetime.

As we were riding the bus from the airport to our hotel on that hot, humid,rainy evening, our guide, Eric informed us that we would be meeting our children at 10 AM the following morning and that we needed to be in the hotel lobby by 9:15AM. Wow! Even though we were exhausted, we were too excited to care. The hotel room was so small...with only two very small beds for four people with a 5th to be added in 9 hours. We showered and crawled into bed...tossing and turning. The next day our small group of 4 families headed out into the heat and rain to the CCAA office. We walked up the flight of stairs and I immediately saw a little girl sitting on the lap of a woman wearing an orange shirt with another woman sitting next to them. I recognized my daughter. We sat down and as we were looking at her S was staring at us. The women from the orphanage pointed to me and I overheard them say "Mama." I heard S's little, soft voice repeat the word. The boys were attempting to make S smile by offering her the bunny that we had brought with us and before I knew it...this little girl was placed, stiff as a board, into my arms. She continued to lay in my arms, as you can see from the pictures. It felt as if I were holding a 30 pound piece of wood and not a 3 1/2 little girl. I had read some attachment books, and had prepared myself for crying, and possibly a shut down of my little girl. What happened next, I had not been completely prepared. As we finished up at the office, S must have sensed it was time to leave. Within moments, this board became a screaming, crying, shouting, punching headbutting, kicking little girl. As the sweat poured from our bodies, I used all of my strength to keep this little girl from leaping out of my arms backwards. I was punched in both eyes and when I held her arm, she would headbutt me. If I held her arm and head she would kick me.

She finally settled after our arrival back to the hotel and we spent the next couple of hours trying to get to know Shi Yan Mei.

It was a bittersweet day for me, that hot day in Wuhan. Our baby girl lost everything that she had known that day. Her grief was demonstrated in her violence. She continued to be violent for our time in China, but love and patience prevailed. To this day she continues with an "I know what I want" attitude and she for the most part, can defend herself in a squabble with one of her brothers. She can be assertive and boisterous yet sweet, funny and loveable. She is our little miracle and I still have to pinch myself sometimes to actually believe that I have been given the chance to be a mom again. I know that my guardian angel, Katie with the approval of the Big G, has helped guide us to S and S to us. I am so very blessed.

To those of your who have not yet received your child, please be prepared for any kind of reaction from your new child. I had no idea that S would exhibit such violent behavior to me and to her brothers. They too received her left hook many times. Please be patient as your child grieves for all that he or she has lost. Everyone grieves differently.

Enjoy the pictures from then and now. Of course I still have not learned how to post pictures in order. If anyone can help me, please feel free to comment.

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS OF POOP AND PENGUINS

2008-06-27T06:59:00.000-04:00

It's been a few days since my last post and I would like to explain. My boys have rediscovered
http://www.clubpenguin.com/ and the computer seems to always be occupied when I'm ready to blog. They have a blast on the game as one or two of their friends are members as well. It's an innocent game by DISNEY and while they are playing I can hear them giggling and laughing which makes my heart sing. I actually enjoy listening to the background music of Club Penguin and have found myself humming the dang song to myself on occasion. Maybe it's soothing or something....don't tell my kids though, they will laugh their heads off.

Today's date is the 27 of June. Last year at this time we were running around frantically, or at least I was, trying to makes sure everything was in its place as we prepared to travel to China. S has been with us for almost one year which leads me to my next subject which may or may not disgust you. After our return home last year we had her at the pediatricians for her check-up shots, etc. I needed to collect stool samples, which I am now an expert at doing, for them to be tested for parasites. Well back last August, my S tested positive for Giardia.
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/Giardiasis/factsht_giardia.htm
Since last year she has been on countless courses of medications to attempt to rid her body of this critter. After one course of medication is finished, I would wait some time before collecting another sample, collect it, drop it off and then wait for the phone call. After the last time back in April or May the doctors had her one a double course of the medication. They doubled the dose, and extended the amount of time to give it...doubling it. Initially, I thought that was it and that we were done. Her (You know whats) actually appeared somewhat normal for a short time. Then......it happened. For those of you who have fought Giardia in the past know, it does not quite look like diarrhea...sorry for the description, and it's not formed...it just floats.
So, after I saw those floaters again, my heart sank and sent in another stool sample. Guess what? I was called several days later and told it was negative!!! WooHOO!!! But in my heart I knew those critters were still there. Those floaters aren't floating for no reason. So my mommy's gut told me to collect another sample, which I did. We got the call yesterday. The sample several weeks ago had been misread...(now how did I suspect that?) It really was positive and so was the sample from last week. Now, not only is my baby still infected with the Giardia parasite,but now I'm being told that there is another one making it's evil presence as well. This one is http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/dientamoeba/factsht_dientamoeba.htm for those of you that may be dealing with parasites.
We will now see both a GI specialist at St Christopher's and an Infectious Disease doctor from CHOP.
For those of you who may be adopting a child who has lived in a SWI,please be vigilant upon returning home. Even though one stool sample may be negative, please send at least three.

Now to change the subject which will probably make you all happy. I mentioned before that our one year anniversary is approaching of meeting my daughter. I will save that memory for a post next week. This weekend is when we plan on celebrating our Family Day. Friends who were were very fortunate to meet while in China, the P's and the G's, are planning on coming over tomorrow for our reunion. There were 7 families in our travel group, but only 4 of us families were in Wuhan for one week. We did not meet the others until Guangzhou and therefore, as beautiful and as nice as they all were, we did not get the chance to know them very well.
Unfortunately, I do not even remember their names.
But the week spent in Wuhan, was a week that will never leave my mind. It is those families who bonded well. Unfortunately, one of the families, the A's will not be able to join us because their beautiful daughter has recently had surgery and she is recovering. I hope that we will be able to see them in the future.
I have a busy day ahead today cleaning, cooking and getting the house ready. I am looking forward to this and have been for a long time. I cannot wait to see everyone.
I promise to take lots of pictures and post when I get the chance. For now though,
I will close. Remember, it's hot outside, please be mindful of your children and pets. Do not leave unattended in a hot car.
Also, secure your furniture...it may save a life.
J

I Don't Get It

2008-06-21T21:14:00.000-04:00

Why is it that people continually leave their children ALONE in HOT CARS? It seems that every time I turn on the news I am listening to a reporter describing another incident in which a dad, mom, grandfather, grandmother, babysitter, etc. has forgotten about his or her child and has left them locked in a hot car to swelter, burn and eventually die. How can one forget his or her child? I cannot even begin to wonder what is so incredibly important in the minds of these caregivers to have their little ones erased from their memory for even just a few minutes. That's all it takes...several minutes in the sweltering summer sun...for the body's core temperature to reach the fatal limit of 107 degrees F. - Several minutes of a child crying out, helplessly wondering where mommy or daddy has gone. Several minutes for the child's organs to begin to fail due to intense temperatures inside a smoldering car.
I just don't get it.

LOOK MOM NO .....

2008-06-18T21:25:00.000-04:00

I took all three kids to the dentist on Monday for their semi-annual appointments. The appointment was S's first time seeing a dentist....at least here in the U.S. I had been somewhat nervous about her visit so I waited until the boys were due for their check-ups before scheduling her. I wanted her to be able to go with the boys to help ease any fears that she may have had.
The parents are not permitted to go back in the examining area so that contributed to my nerves as well. What if she cried for me? What if she was scared and I was not there to comfort her?
I spoke with S before going and did my best to try to explain what was going to happen.
She had a blast in the waiting area playing with all of their toys and hardly hesitated when their names were called. She walked in the back holding her big brothers hands looking so cute. Then I actually had a bit of time to read a magazine without being interrupted. It was actually kind of nice.
Then one by one they came out...little b first. He said that S was doing really well.
Next was E....looking a bit sad. HHMMM. Then S came out with a big smile. Next it was my time to speak with the dentist. He said that in 27 years of practice, he has never seen an adoptive child from China, Russia, etc have NO tooth decay. Her teeth are perfect! Yeah!! Thank you God for life's little blessings and thank you Shiyan SWI for helping take great care of S's teeth.
I tried to transfer some pictures of S and her teeth but for some reason my came or my program is not allowing the transfer. I'll keep trying and perhaps get them posted another time.
The boys had good visits as well. No Cavities!!! Hooray! E was told that he needs to brush longer though...hence the long face.

We are now getting into summer vacation. So far so good. One of these days the boys are going to start complaining that they are bored. Hopefully it won't be for a long while. The key is to have things planned for them. Perhaps we'll go to the zoo or to Six Flags Safari. I haven't done that since my teenage years and I think the kids would enjoy seeing the animals up close.

Until the next time,
JUDY

A Busy Week

2008-06-13T21:02:00.000-04:00

Well, it's certainly been a busy week as you can probably guess from the "no rhyme or reason" to the pictures.
It was the last week of school for the kids and the week was full of activities that kept me on my toes and in need of a quiet, resttful weekend. Some of the pictures are from the boys's ALL Star game last Sunday. As from my previous post, the temperatures had soared well into the upper 90's and the pool was a welcome extra to our home. There are a couple of pool pictures which included our guests Carol and her two children, Brian and Kyla ( the little girl seen in many pictures with S), and Sonia and her children Nick and Selena.
S celebrated her last day of preschool on Wednesday and the 3 yr old class performed several cute songs for their audience. I love the pic of S and her daddy!
Check out the video....S is sitting in the back singing. She did so well and I am so proud of her. She was so cute and so well-behaved and this "tough child" was nowhere evident during the past week.
The boys performed in the McKinley spring show on Wednesday evening and did very well. I really enjoyed the music and thought the kids were all awesome. Little B sang in the 5th grade chorus while E played the viola. I posted short videos of both.
After several days of wicked heat...( I loved it) our area was engulfed in severe storms Tuesday night. At 8Pm we lost our power. I had seen the storms approaching and had our flashlights and candles ready. After the storms subsided, Big b took the boys out for a ride to check out the area. Trees and power lines were down everywhere but no tornado, just straight-line winds.
It was still very hot and we spent most of the night trying to fall asleep. Little B had the most trouble and paced between his room where his dad was sleeping and my room where S had finally drifted off. The kids were a little frightened so DH and I split up to comfort the kids.
We were very lucky and our power was finally restored by 3 the next afternoon. There were others who were still without power for another day or so.
The next two days were spent preparing for E's Class End-of-Year Party being held Friday.
The kids had a blast with the water-balloon toss, 3-legged races, egg-races, etc. Friday the 13th was a bittersweet day for the boys as they said good-bye to their classmates until September.
S had a wonderful time Friday with the 3rd graders at the party. She fit right in enjoying the games and festivites just like she was one of them.
She has become the little swimmer lately enjoying the pool immensely. Last year she was genuinely frightened by the water. Now she swims everywhere...as long as she has her float-suit and floaties on.
Last night while at a baseball game, an ice cream truck came by. I took S and her friend Kyla over to get some ice cream. S may have gotten ice cream from a truck once or twice last year so after we had returned from China. As we were walking to the truck she proceeded to tell me that Nooma ( a staff member from her orphanage) had an ice cream truck. She tells me quite often that Nooma had things that we have here. Nooma had a new van....when we bought our van. Nooma had a swimming pool complete with the same shed as we have and Nooma had the same kitchen with kitchen stools that are in our kitchen. Many times I have heard S mentioning that Nooma had many of the same things.
I'm not sure what it going on...if maybe S is losing her memory of her time in China, or just her young imagination....I can tell that she cared very much for this woman and everyday her name is mentioned by S. I just wish I could speak with this woman...just once...to perhaps give S some closure. Maybe she has an email address????
Well, it's time to close for the evening. Just want to wish all of the dads out there a Happy Father's Day tomorrow.
To my dad, I miss you and Happy Father's Day in Heaven.

J

THE HOME RUN CHAMPION

2008-06-09T21:56:00.000-04:00

This weekend was the hottest weekend so far this season. Temperatures soared to near 100 degrees and the humidity felt just as high. I personally enjoy this type of weather as long as there is cool air conditioning awaiting my return back home.
The boys, however, had to suffer through two baseball games in the wicked heat.
On Sunday both E and Little b played in the Fox Rok All Star Game. They were excited to have been chosen and even more excited to participate in the home Run Derby! Prior to the game each child was given 5 chances to hit the ball the farthest.
Early in the friendly competition, one little boy lead the others with 136 feet. Then E came up.....during his 5 chances he hit the ball 147 feet...taking the lead. After E, came little b. During his 5 chances, he pulled the ball 168 feet...beating E and taking the lead. Two other batters came after them but no one else came close. What a proud moment for a mom. Her two boys taking 1st and 2nd place.
All of the boys on both teams did such a great job yesterday staying strong and maintaining great attitudes throughout the heat. All of us parents t were proud of all of the boys. They are did awesome!
Afterwards, several of the parents brought their kids over to swim. We had such a great time and the children all got along so well. I got to know a couple of the other moms better and hope it will be the beginning of new friendships. Both are wonderful people.
I spent the rest of the weekend revising my resume and reposting on Monster.
Keep your fingers crossed that something comes my way...I'd like to try to go back to work...if I can obtain permission from the M.D.
I will be getting a 2nd opinion in July from a GI specialist at the suggestion of my physician.

Well, must run for now to get my boys to bed. Thanks for listening....
Until the next time,
J

The Yellow Butterfly

2008-06-07T22:17:00.000-04:00

Our precious angel Katie made her presence felt several times throughout the course of our day today. It was the appearance of yellow butterflies nearby at various times, and in various places which brought those aching thoughts of my baby girl back to the forefront of my mind.
At one point, the three kids were in the pool and Big B and I were sitting on the deck watching them when E shouted and pointed...."Katie, Katie!"
We turned to look and there fluttering nearby was a beautiful yellow butterfly playfully dancing with the summer breeze.
I smiled and told them that yes, their sister is nearby, keeping watch and helping to protect her family...as a guardian angel does. This I believe.
Earlier, as I was speaking on the phone outside by the pool, perhaps that same yellow butterfly had appeared and fluttered closely to my shoulder.
My first sign of the day.
Even though my heart sings when I see the yellow butterfly, the sadness and grief of not having Katie with me is felt to the core. I miss my baby girl.

J

An Awkward Moment

2008-06-05T21:24:00.000-04:00

The following conversational tidbits took place this afternoon after picking up my two boys from school.
After getting into van:
Little b: Mom, the Phillies won 5 - nothing.

Mom: Great! I forgot that they were on early. How did you know that they won?

Little b: We watched them in class today. But first we had to watch a video.

Mom: A video? That's always fun. What was it about?

Little b: Remember that book we got in the mail the other day?

Mom: The one that came to you...about puberty?

Little b: Yeah, that one. Everyone got the book.
Mom: How do you know that everyone got it?

Little b: Because R C got it.

Mom: Okay. Well, do you have any questions about what you saw today or read?

Little b: No

Mom: You know that if you ever have any questions about anything, always remember that you can ask daddy and me. We will always be here for you.

Little b: yeah.

Several minute later we were in the kitchen and I was preparing some simple snacks for the kids.

Little b: ( as mom was chewing on a pretzel) Mom, What is a wet dream?

Mom: (coughing and trying to maintain composure) Hmmm, a wet dream? Well, well, let me see. Umm, where did you hear that expression?

Little b: the video today.

Mom: good, good, that's good.

Little b: well, what is it?

Mom: Umm, maybe we should have this discussion when daddy comes home. Is that okay?

Little b: fine.

Did I mess up or what?
I could not help the sex-crazed teenager thoughts flooding my being at that very moment. My body went numb....then limp as if beaten up. Yes, those dreaded teen years are rapidly approaching with all of its daily struggles, challenges and glories.
God help me. What happened to the little boy who idolized Tinky Winky and sang "Do the Bloopy Shuffle?"
note to self........read up on puberty, the changes and the proper ways to explain its terminology without looking like a fool to your kids.
second note to self.....make sure wine is chilled in fridge for those after-puberty conversations to help mom relax.

Attachment problems?

2008-06-02T21:40:00.000-04:00

Today, when I picked up S from preschool, she walked out of her class with "the look." It's the sad, heartbroken look she gets just before she begins to cry. The assistant teacher was standing at the door and hadn't noticed the tears when S walked past her. S came to me, I asked what was wrong and S began to cry. I looked at the assistant teacher who was looking at the head teacher, who must have been signaling to her from across the room. She then turned to me and asked if I would come into the classroom. The children were still filing out and S and I squeezed into the room and walked to the back where the head teacher was standing. I again asked what happened, but this time to the teacher and she gave me this look while slighly shaking her head back and forth. She proceeded to say that S kept making faces at another child during snack time and the teacher had S come sit by her. She went on to say that S continues to grab or take things that she wants out of others' hands and constantly pushes the other children's buttons. She ended with telling me that "S is just tough, she's a tough child."

Well, if that didn't get me in a tizzy, then I don't know what would. Yes, I understand that S has some problems that we are attempting to deal with. My husband and I have been trying to teach S how to share, proper behaviour, and basic social skills. But I guess it is time for professional help. I have contacted our social worker from our agency and she will be giving me names of therapists who have experience dealing with these types of issues. I just want her to be happy.

As far as the teachers are concerned, I'm not 100% sure that S should be in this preschool. I was very happy when my boys and Katie attended but for S, I don't think it is working. I do not think the teachers have the capacity, time nor education to deal with the types of issues in which some adoptive children may experience. The teachers have all been great, but perhaps it is time to move on. I need to do what is best for S and I have an entire summer to think about it. I would love to send her to a school filled with adoptive children but I know there is nothing like that around here.

Big B is so upset with the teacher that he doesn't want S to go back anymore this year. She only has a few days left and one of them is the end of year show. That could be really cute...or it could be a complete disaster.

I took some pictures of S and I think that they turned out great. She's beautiful and I wanted to share them with you. I've also thrown in one or two of my boys as well.

Enjoy,

Just Venting

2008-05-29T20:56:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down, a little depressed. This post is probably going to be a bit selfish and semi-full of complaints so if you don't feel like reading about someone's else's problems, please stop reading now.

When I got out of bed this morning, the pain in my side was really hurting. It feels as if there is something poking me in the front right side, not the pelvic area and not the upper quadrant...but inbetween the two: Poking me from the front and going out through to the back.

This is a brief history of the problem. The pain started sometime back in February, around the time I was having a colonoscopy. That test was normal and it wasn't done because of the pain. I am anemic and that was one of the reasons the physicians wanted me to get it. Anyway, the pain started, I was sent to gyno who did pelvic ultrasound to rule out anything there. Turns out there are fibroids and a cyst...but the location of the pain is higher. Had a two ultrasounds of RUQ...1 in NOV, and 1 in April. These were okay.... location of pain is lower.

Worked my 12 hours shifts...barely was getting through them..could barely walk straight let alone take care of sick patients, so doc put me out of work on disability. His diagnosis...pinched nerve, as well as PSTD. (post traumatic stress disorder) HMMM. So, okay, he's the doctor, right?

I went back into grief counseling...which by the way is wonderful. I love being able to talk, and vent without feeling as if I'm burdening anyone with my problems....sort of like now.

I lost my job on April 30th. Because of the leave that I took last summer for our adoption, I found that I was not eligible for time off...even for medical reasons with a doctor's note. I do not have any feelings of contempt for the hospital, I truly understand their policies and the law and I have been trying to find the light at the end which would include a better job.

My doc sends me to an ortho doctor with an xray of the spine. The ortho doc looks at the xray, feels around the pain and proceeds to tell me that it's not my spine but the abdomen from where the pain is originating. UGH! He wants me to get a CT of the abdomen. I then call my primary who says I cannot have the CT because I've had two this year already. When I had pneumonia and pleurisy in the winter, they did a scan and found a nodule in my lung. I needed a follow up scan which was okay but now I'm so full of radiation that I'm glowing. GI says it's not GI, ortho says it's not orthopedic and primary doc says it's a pinched nerve. HELP! I have no job right now, I want to go back to work but am still no closer to finding an answer for this pain than I was back in February. I have been checking jobs online and have sent several resumes out. I am a nurse and have only done floor nursing in my career. I made the decision to try my darnest not to have to go back to that type of nursing again. Reasons saved for another post. Even if I were to find another job what do I tell the potential employer? Can I work through the pain and the constant worry of what it could possibly be?

If anyone has any suggestions please tell me. I'm frustrated, sad, and ticked off that my doctor won't do an MRI or something that will yield a definitive diagnosis. Family says to switch primaries, but that isn't so simple. Not even sure if I would be permitted to do so with COBRA>

Okay, that will end my complaints about my pain for now. Don't want to bore you any longer.

On another note, we had a beautiful Memorial weekend. The weather was picture perfect and I have some nice pictures to post.

I am looking forward to babysitting my good friend's Leslie's children tomorrow evening. She has 3 kids, ages 8, 5 and 4. Friday night should be a crazy, chaotic but fun place here tomorrow.

Oh, thank God that RQ has come back online. The site was down for several days and I actually felt myself going through withdrawal symptoms. I was so relieved when it came back. I found out how much I missed that community and all of its support.

I love RQ!

J

THE THREE W'S

2008-05-24T20:50:00.000-04:00

I guess you are all wondering what the 3 w's are all about. It really is nothing big, nothing that will majorly surprise anyone. The 3 W's are......Wondering What to Write! During the days my mind receives several fleeting thoughts of many interesting, sometimes questionable things to write about. But today, when I finally sat down to my computer, I could remember none of them. Does this mean that I am beginning to become forgetful? Maybe. Or maybe it's just the normal mind of a busy 40 something mom trying to maintain some sanity in a crazy, sometimes chaotic household.

This week included some posts that weighed quite heavily on the heart so I want to keep this early Saturday evening post pretty light.

I had a wonderful chance to meet a fellow RQ er this afternoon. For those of you who are not a part of the adoption community, RQ stands for Rumor Queen. It is a well known, very large internet community of pre-adoptive and post-adoptive parents. Its membership exceed 5000 and each member makes for a very informative and sincere support group. To check it out, just click on the link to the right.

Anyway, our daughters met and the mom is wonderful person. I won't post any names to keep her anonymity unless told otherwise. It took our girls about an hour to warm up to each other but when they did it looked as if they had a great time. I am looking forward to hopefully meeting again with our girls.

Next, I want to thank those of you who have left comments on the blog. I appreciate all of them and I am so glad that there are people actually reading this.

To Erin, thank you for reading. The playground is Jenkintown playground and I think your kids would love the zip line.

To Karen, thank you for getting ready to secure your furniture. It makes all of our work worth it to hear that people are tethering their furniture. To Leslie and El, signs of Katie are everywhere. I love to hear when others feel her presence as well. She's everywhere and lives in all of our hearts. Thank you all.

Now for some random pics from the week. Some may look repetitive but I couldn't help but post them. Last Sunday we attended our pastor's retirement party. His name is Father Otto and after 23 years will be retiring. Father Otto married B and myself back in 1991. He then baptized our 3 children. He was there the night that Katie was killed and actually went back to that hell house and helped pick up the pieces and clean up the room. Something that no one should have had to do. He then had to endure the agony of doing her funeral but became an active member of The Katie Elise Lambert Foundation.

He then was able to perform S's baptism and watching him walk her down the aisle during the ceremony was such a bittersweet moment. God was taking care of us.

We will miss Father Otto.

So, pictures are from the party and a recent baseball game. The little girl with S is one of the coaches daughter.

The woman standing with BB is my MIL, Joan.

Enjoy.

A TRAGEDY

2008-05-22T20:32:00.000-04:00

News of a tragic accident struck the adoption community this morning. Christian music singer, Steven Curtis Chapman, lost one of his precious daughters in a terrible accident yesterday which occurred outside his home. His daughter, Maria, 5 years old, was killed after their SUV was backed over her. http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/

Please keep Steven, his wife, and their surviving children in your thoughts and prayers. What they are experiencing right now, can only be compared with a dagger being placed into your heart. No human being should ever have to face the death of their child.

Please keep them in your hearts, in your thoughts and in your prayers tonight. For a mother or a father to wake up in the middle of the night and to see an empty bed where your baby should be sleeping, is a feeling that no one should ever have to endure.

Look For Maddie

2008-05-21T21:54:00.000-04:00

Many of you will remember the heartwrenching story of the disappearance of Madeleine McCann from last May in Portugal. Her mother put her safely to bed along with her younger brother and sister, and then went about 50 yards away to dinner. During the time that they were gone, little Maddie was abducted from their hotel room. Her siblings remained. Maddie was just 9 days shy of her 4th birthday. Her parents continue their mission of leaving no stone unturned in the hopes of finding their daughter. Apparently there are investigations still being conducted both in Portugal and Britain. Please correct me if my information is wrong. The story has touched me and when I found this video I wanted to do my part in helping.

I thought that I would add one of their videos in the hopes that people will not forget to keep looking for little Maddie. I've also provided the link for the Center for Missing and Exploited children. My heart aches for those whose children have been abducted. I know where my Katie is.... (heaven)...but to not know where your child is, or who has your child, if they're hurting, or hungry or crying, cold.....that would probably kill me.

Please hug your children tonight. Life is full of twists and turns, and we are not privileged to know the plans which lie ahead for us. So live for today.

http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US

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